Regret leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

Apparently, I didn't learn the first time.

Somehow, pain turns to relief as the sharp objects pierce and scratch my skin.

I can breathe again.

Two years clean goes down the drain, along with blood and all the tears my eyes can cry.

Catching my breath seems nearly impossible;

Could be from the thousands of pounds of baggage and Bullshit you left sitting on my soul that just won't seem to move;

Could be from the pain;

Pain of betrayal;

Of anger;

Of guilt.

Could be the physical pain on my face every time I shed a poisonous, acidic tear polluting my brain, thinking of what you did.

Your wardrobe is not made of boyfriend material.

In fact, its made of anything but.

Its made from the threads of each lie you told

Held together by your tough exterior and that "you're so extra" feel to it.

My world has now gone back to black and white once again.

My five senses are all on overdrive.

I can never seem to be able to rest.

The hamster wheel in my head just doesn't quit;

A thousand thoughts a second.

My fear of people;

Of touch;

Of crowds;

Of men;

All a thousand times worse.

A dark and stormy cloud hovers over me about to spit drops of memories on me In a desperate attempt to make me remember;

As if I could forget.

I so badly want to forget.

Temporary relief in the form of a sharp friend is all I can find for now.

As for the regret,

I don't know if ill ever be able to get that bitter taste out of my mouth

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