Many of you may not have heard, but I have officially finished the rough draft of my WIP "The Jazz Baby"! I couldn't be more hype, the final battle took on a much more heart warming turn than expected while still maintaining the dark and somber message I aimed to put out in the book. All this to say, it did have some things I want to change. Ultimately the characters are loveable for me, but I would argue would be unrelatable to a person who is not me. I'm not ashamed, in fact I am very proud to admit that my experiences are not universal and I've lived a weird and terrifying life, so if I want to construct a narrative that's pleasing for a normal person to read I'm gonna have to tone down the bleak, dissociative, self aware comedy and ground it in a more realistic emotional realm. The people I wrote about, with the exception of Hal have lived lives in which they are yet to be shocked to their core. The Happenings in the book are the first taste of real horror most of them have had. It's because of this that I don't think real people would react that way. At the end of the day I have to beef up the emotions. Have the living really feel the intense sadness of watching a friend die for the first time or the intense dread of knowing what ever's out there is hunting them and it could be anywhere. I think humans feel a wide variety of emotions that they don't get to think about when it's really happening, but never the less they do feel them. It's the inclusion of these emotions and emotional ties that will make this story shake a person to their core.
As with anything else in life that's new, editing has been difficult. It's a whole new jive. When I was writing I could set myself word goals. 2000 words a day and then I could relax, but now that I'm editing; word goals seem incompatible. it's really like fine tuning a violin or a piano. You never know how long it'll take because until you get in there you don't know how messed up it is. Right now I'm spending a lot of time doing things that allow me to think while I do them. Just little activities to keep my body occupied while my brain decides on the directions. I've recently taken up Calisthenics and that's been fun. Sort of an exploration of what my body is capable of and slowly moving myself in the right direction. When I first started I couldn't even make it through a whole 30 second plank (And I was doing the easy version) So imagine my surprise when a month and a half later I can do to full Planks at 40 seconds right in a row. I've also been playing Pokémon more. I used to play it all the time as a kid, but when my eye cut I stopped playing video games because I was too depressed. Pokémon is great because I don't need depth perception or quick reactions to play it. It's been really fun!
Of Course Jeffrey and I have been hanging out more! We're officially best friends ya know. We had the talk and everything. Jeffrey's a great friend and an all around great guy. He always texts back right away and he's always down to hang out even if we're just doing something simple. He's the kinda guy that makes you wanna hang out with him again because it's so fun and so egoless. Jeffrey is by no means a prideful person, he doesn't think he's better than other people (Despite the fact that he's better than most) A lot of people would see a guy like me who's willing to do anything for his friends and take advantage of it. It's happened many times before, but Jeffrey never does. He get's embarrassed when I pay for meals and food. He doesn't have a lot of pride, but what he does have is Honour, he believes in doing the right thing even if it hurts him. Jeffrey's a good friend and a good man through and through. I couldn't imagine going through what I've gone through without him.
Well to sum everything up; it's been and interesting few months and for the first time in a long time I'm really excited about the future and a lot of it is because of you guys. The Bean Crew, many of you came from the a viral video and many still cam from my regular content but regardless, here you are, supporting me and giving me hope and cheering me up when i'm down. I know I post a lot of angsty stuff on twitter and I cry once in a while on instagram but you guys are there and it's like I've got 100,000 friends. So hit me up some time, let's get wasted and go clubbing