"Count Spoonface says we'll be haunted by the ghosts of them from beyond forever, Da, if that fathead goes up to the old temple. Ma said the same thing but with more bad words."
"Wh..."
"There's skeletons up there, and ELF skeletons, Da, like Auntie Eldaline, but a skeleton. Where is auntie Eldaline, Da?"
"S..."
"Only, last time I saw Auntie Eldaline, she said she'd bring me a magic spider, like one of the metal ones off the Dwarves."
"Sh..."
"But you have to do something, otherwise what are you good for, my Ma always says. Not about this, 'cause we didn't know you were coming."
"Rufus, what are you talking about?"
"He means well, Ma says, and she says there's much worse, who don't even do that much."
"I reckon when he gets up to the temple, the skeletons'll suck out his eyeballs and I'll need to get another new Da. P'rhaps you could be my new Da, Da, seeing's you're actually my old one too."
"Well, I'm always your Da, son. Those friends of your Ma, they're just uncles. What temple, and who's getting his eyeballs sucked out?"
"Why didn't you bring Auntie Eldaline? Imagine if you'd brought her and my Ma called her a Floozy just like when she's not here. She's not here now, but where's my spider? It's all right, she can bring it next time."
"Tell me what's going on, you little f... I mean, explain to your Da what's going on, please, son, there's a good lad."
"Shor's Bones, Da, why're you so jumpy? You shouldn't have any trouble making everything better again, I seen you smash skeletons to pieces, you're not like these milk drinkers."
"Wait, you haven't been here since I was six, Da! You don't know what's going on, do you?"
"No!" Skavild shouted kindly. "Who are we talking about? Where's your Ma, Rufus? Is this one of your Ma's useless men? I'll be angry if your Ma's useless men have been been worrying you."
"I'm not worried of this one, Da, I'm worried for him. I don't want a skeleton to suck his eyes out. Ma's just next door, but they throw me out if I ain't got a grown-up."
"I'm a grown-up."
"Yeah, I forgot that." said Rufus. "Follow me. That there's the Restful Watchman. Ma's a cook, did you know that?"
"Nope."
The Restful Watchman was a stuffy little tavern filled with the greasy smoke. Even the stuffed animals' heads looked as though they had died of asphyxiation, Skavild thought. But he said, "Cosy little place."
"Now, listen." said Rufus. "Ma says, if anyone else sits at the table, get lost right away, or I'll clip you."
"Understood." said Skavild. "It was that rule before you were born, too."
"Hello, Skavild." said Rocina.
"Quick, Da, if you get the chair first, no one else can sit down. I'm hungry. Ma, can I have some Orsinium Cake?"
"Rufus, will you give me a minute to talk to your Ma?"
"'Course I will." said Rufus, not going away.
"How are you, Rocina? You're looking well."
"What do you want?" demanded the Colovian woman.
"How do you mean?" said Skavild.
"When do you ever come if you don't want something?"
"I want a mechanical spider." said Rufus.
Rocina stood up. "Don't 'how do you mean' in here, I know what you've been doing in Skyrim. First you fight for the Stormcloak traitors, and now you work for the Thalmor?"
"I was just trying to cut out the middle-man." Skavild shouted.
"I'm a middle-man." said Rufus. "Look, I'm in the middle."
"And what? Don't they pay properly? You're here to ask for money, aren't you? Who's after you now? It's your Elven Floozy, and don't deny it! You'd better get back to her if you want money, you're not getting a Septim from me!"
"Ma, can I have five Septims?" said Rufus.
Skavild tried very hard to stop shouting. "Why can't I just stop by and see my boy without you thinking I'm asking for money?"
"Hello, Da!" said Rufus.
"Because you sent the rest of your luggage on ahead weeks ago and it arrived at my house." said Rocina.
"Right, well. That explains why you'd think that."
"Come with me." Rocina said. "We'll talk in the house."
"Rufus enjoyed his stay in Solitude, Skavild." she said, less loudly but rather more bitterly, once outside.
"Well, that's good." said Skavild. "Did he tell you about the Sload?"
"What Sload?"
"Rufus, you didn't tell your Ma about your adventure with the Sload wizard, and the boat, and the negotiations to end the vampire clan war?"
"I forgot."
"Have you been letting him read dirty books?" said Rocina. "He's talked about nothing else but Doryli Vlars since he got back."
"They're my Ma's books." said Skavild.
"Ha." said Rocina. A likely story to tell about a sweet old lady."
"Da, I didn't understand the bit after the orc's three wives stop the carriage."
"Neither did I, son." said Skavild. "Rocina, will you tell me what Rufus was talking about, tellin me about a temple, and some ghosts sucking people's eyeballs out?"
She said, "Come in. I'll explain when you meet him."
"Greetings, Land-Strider!" said the Argonian gentleman.
"Ah! Gree... Hello, Argonian." said Skavild. "Look, Rocina an Argonian."
"Rocina has told me all about you. You must be Skavild. I am honoured to meet the father of my friend Rufus at last. My name is Derkeethus."
"Derkeethus is Rufus' new uncle, Skavild." said Rocina. "A legionnaire found him in a hole and left him at the inn when he came back over the border, and we fell in love."
"Rocina has a kind and loving spirit. Alas, I am not the great provider I hoped I would be. In Eastmarch I was a miner and fisher. The local mines are flooded and the boy does not like fish. My skills are useless here and I am afraid my new family will suffer as a result."
"Hm." said Skavild, forgetting to say 'you're not useless' and 'I'm sure they won't'.
But it was not remarked upon, because Rocina offered, "Harald Burdsson is paying through the nose for relics of the great daedric invasion for his museum, and we thought the old Blades temple on the mountain might have some nice stuff."
"Yes." said Derkeethus. "Unfortunately, my dear Rocina thinks I am too fragile for this venture. I am not as strong and experienced as some others."
"Oh, I see." Skavild said. Then he added. "It's like that, is it?"
- continues -