It's been more than a year since COVID-19 spread throughout the world. There's an insane amount of changes that most of us were not really prepared for. I have to admit, last year was soul-crushing. Many people lost their jobs, their homes, their loved ones, their status, and for some - the will to live.
The entire year was like a "survival of the fittest" game. At some point, I got really close to throwing in the towel. After I temporarily lost my job and ruined my normal work routine, I just didn't know what I was waking up for anymore. And it took me a really long time to get back on track. This may sound dramatic for some, especially if they didn't even come close to having it 'rough' the past year. But for most who have struggled a lot and are still struggling, consider the fact that you are still here and still standing a blessing! It must have taken a lot of resilience and faith for you to stand firm and for that, you have my respect!
I have no idea what motivates other people to keep going and how exactly they do it, but as for me, making art really illuminates my path during my darkest days. Even though I have been making and selling art as my side hustle, my main reason for making art is still to have some sort of a fortress where I can take shelter when I feel like crumbling. It helps me to move, even just a little, when I feel like nothing makes sense anymore. It's ridiculous, to be honest. How can a simple piece of wood, a few drops of pigment and a sheet of paper change my perspective? I still can't deliberately explain. All I know is that, whenever I use art materials, even just for a short time, I am one step out of the dark place.
I feel free and unstoppable once I start painting. I don't think about how my art would look like once it's done. It's almost like journaling, except that I'm not really using words to express my emotions. Is it my soul that's choosing the colors? Is it my brain that's thinking about the design? I can't really tell. All I know is that something needs to be expressed, something needs to come out, and that's why I pick up a paintbrush.