I miss most everything about how things used to be.
Like hugging people you know when you see them out and about.
Like sitting at a coffee shop and people watching.
Like grocery shopping without masks or trying to maneuver the maze of the one way isles looking for that particular shelved item.
Like not being constantly anxious about getting sick, making someone sick, wondering if the sickness is really all that bad, wondering what happened to the common cold, wondering if the government is really just out to inject us with garbage for their own agenda, and then I cycle back to being worried about getting sick.
Now this isn't a post about whether I'm an anti masker or a hardcore social distance-r, but I feel that regardless of what "side" you are on, we all have one thing in common:
We are all unsure and anxious about the future. And probably a little unsure and anxious about the now.
Today I woke up a bit tired. I got myself out for a ski on the lake, but I felt exhausted. I only did a short jaunt before coming home, a little concerned as I also had a slight headache. I did the inventory - am I tired because I'm short of breath? Is this runny nose more than just exertion in chilly weather? Then I came in the house to hear my Emergency Alert reminding me to stay home and that Big Brother is watching - er, reminding me that it was the LAW to stay home. And then I felt so much anxiety about going out and maybe being sick and spreading pestilence, I cancelled my clients for the day just in case, and planned on going to bed to hopefully sleep it off. But first, I hopped into the shower and immediately got my confirmation. I was perfectly fine. These are all symptoms I'm familiar with. My "monthly visitor" had arrived to remind me that all was well, really. With the anxiety and uncertainty abound in the world I had become uncertain of myself. And I let myself stand under the hot water, in that anxiety and uncertainty for a few moments to really feel the emotions and let them move on. And as the anxiety passed, it took my headache with it.
And I started thinking about how hard I've been holding on to things "getting back to normal." In person meetings. Hugs. Yoga classes. And I see my friends in various parts of the world just saying "alright then, Zoom it is." It makes me think if this short story called "The Machine Stops" where people don't go out and see each other, they just communicate via this crappy video conferencing system that becomes less and less reliable, yet no one knows how nor cares to fix it; apathy and fear abound. I read this in grade 10 and it stuck with me. It terrified me. I can hermit like the best of them but I am a very social creature and I do love my connection, and I have been digging my heels in hard to avoid this online/Zoom culture. But in being afraid of all this change, I have effectively severed my connection from the world and where it is going right now...and that I do not like.
Love. Acting out of love. Not reacting out of fear. So what do I love to do? I love to move. I love to be present. I love connection. I have dreamt of having a little Yoga video series, even before the pandemic. I have dreamt of a foraging business. I have dreamt of doing something that lets people help other people. I've dreamt of creating community. So here I am. Since we're locked down, I might as well find a way to share myself in the ways that I can. In the ways that make my heart sing.
So thanks for coming to my little space of connection. Stay tuned, for more offerings will be coming soon.
Please feel free to make some donations/buy me a coffee as it were, or simply enjoy the content that is to be presented. Yoga videos and practices, some of my foraged items for sale, 1 on 1 Yoga, Reiki or Meditation sessions (in person even, as I'm a Registered Kinesiologist and as such an "essential health service") and ways to "pay it forward" and help someone else in my community out.
These are strange times and I feel stranger times are coming. But I think we'll all have a better time adjusting to our "New Normal" through connection and community, presence, and movement. Thanks for connecting with me. :)