Six months ago, I broke up with an abusive partner. It may sound weird given current times and vibes, but I only ever had two. He was a cop's son. I wanted to build a bussiness. Remember telling him one day, 'what if I sold my apartment and we opened a small veggie cafe?'
Living near the woods. Seemed perfect. Started running through real estate prices, probable disaster scenarios, marking down the best recipes I ever thought of etc.
I loved the location of his family' s village house. 5a.m.walks with a camera. Raindeers, wild bunnies and snakes.
See he had trouble making decisions. Too attached to the easiness of the grey tommorow. I always loved adventure. Wasn't even bitchy about anything, yet he'd still push me straight to the bedroom wall. Or floor. Every now and then.
So I kicked a couple scooters back in my hometown out of anger and moved.
Packed my old piercing needles, LED nail lamp, camera. Thought I'd quietly work and write chillin' in my own house. Healing. Most importantly.
Covid kicked me right in the stomach. Never tought an educated person with realistic needs could nearly starve in a 21st Century White country.
I would wake up crying every single day. No matter how many messages I'd send to do a job I was qualified for- no reply. They'd notify me with five emails a day I am 2 days late due to pay for electricity. I'd wire 200€. 100€. Then 120€. Pay the phone bills. Been living on pasta straight. For six months. Still no reply. Till the debt grew to nearly 400€. They just turned it off. Completely ignoring the parts payed up. Not even giving me a legally rightful choice to postpone. That still democracy?
When I run through my portfolio, I don't get it how come a security guy at a 60 square meter store gets payed 1000€. And I am not even considered a candidate to... Paint nails and punch holes through ears? Kept on sending out pictures of keychains, soapbars, whatever I ever captured really, everywhere. See I do make high grade stuff. Is it the fact that I know no one in this town? How can a shitty hairdresser keep her job? How come I am still single? Is it all those books stocked up in lines at PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT section that sound something like Every man wants a Bitch.
See it's not about money really. All about cost and worth. A guy that can spit out Put a mask on Or leave is more than I am. See I don't even have a right to complain about the illogical science behind masks. See the orders came from Above. See I am carrying a sleek Canon camera around today, a giant notebook yet there's no power in my house. Fucking logic vs. horrorshow soundclash. Oops, Lithuania. Bitch is getting fucked soon.
So I'm gonna work as a waitress. And write. It's a very draining job. Psychologically. Cause since our koombaye fueled country only finds satisfaction in watching cheapass humour shows and artistically worthless sitcoms. They really like picking on staff. And quality of the food. Which, by the way, is nearly always perfected. And if they see an alright dressed up person with a red note letter at hand, they' ll start tongue dancing all around the neighbourhood. So the question here really is- who is more valuable to society leaders? Progressive ideas and young momma bellies responsible for our tiny countrie's future- or violent policemen and judgemental future white trash security guard makers.
See money is a resource quite easy to gather back and forth if you ain't lazy.
But human resources shall be repriced a.s.a.p.
Because with the current mental cannibal moralle- the Gas Giant is gonna explode like a rubber ballon. Soon.
The white trash security guard mommas may not care about 50years later... But I do. And this country is feeding the lightheaded. Breaking the willed. To shreds. Masking it with old hags no one cares about and twenty year old smiling nephews in the news. We have culture. No one is getting overlooked here. It's all fine.
Greta Oldenburg
2021
Kaunas horror show.
