"So, where do we find a dead person?" I ask.
The obvious answer is "where you left the corpse," but nothing abut this place is turning out to be obvious.
"The Salmon said we would find her in the Crystal Pool," says my guide.
We're striding through the jungle, the tall grass stems towering over us. Is it bamboo? I have no idea what bamboo looks like. I know it's a type of grass and it's big. I know pandas live on it. Am I going to see a panda?
"And that's where you're taking me?" I ask. "To this Crystal Pool, I mean."
Before the angular thing of a guide can answer me, a grunt echoes around us. My guide pales and drops to the ground, waving their hands at me like they've totally lost the plot.
"What?" I ask.
The jungle is silent. I can't remember if there were any background noises to disappear but there's certainly no birds chirping or insects buzzing now.
My guide hisses, "Pandas."
"Where?"
I turn around. I want to know if they're as dumb in person as they look, if a dream counts as in person.
"Shhh!" my guide hisses but burying their head in the mud and covering their head with those bony arms kind of spoils any effect they were hoping to have.
And then there's a roar. A roar that makes the jungle rustle as it shakes and the bottom drop out of my bladder. If my guide ever mentions that again, I'm going to kill them. I crouch but it's not enough. I want to get further into the ground, to escape the heavy breathing and sniffing that has started again.
"Everything is fine," my guide whispers hoarsely. "Maybe. They were nearer last time. Just lie down and be quiet until the hunt passes."
"The roar was louder than last time," I say. And the last time certainly wasn't as bladder-emptying as the sound I just heard. "How is that further away?"
The guide mouths something I don't understand and starts to crawl away from me as the grass rustles and shakes as if a gale I can't feel were blowing.
"What?" I demand.
The roar comes again, quieter as if the animal is further away. I look around but I see nothing between the grass stems, only me and the monstrous guide.
"There's nothing there!" I say.
The snuffling has gotten louder, though, and the stems shake like the storm I can't feel is getting stronger. I look up. All I can see is a large animal getting larger as it drops towards me. Sure, it's white and fluffy with big red eye patches and neat little red (but also adorably fluffy) ears, but it has lots of rather large, sharp teeth and a whole gang of friends behind it.
"Oh sh--"