"You have completed your first act of penance and freed the Oak Tree One," a large voice booms.
There's a horrible smell on the wind, which seems to move with the words.
The squirrelly idiot who's just dragged me around the largest and weirdest apartment building I've ever seen - the lifts had hundreds of floors and the floor we came out on was actually numbered '400' - looks up. "Maggie, my dear, you've looked better."
I look up, to, and gag. There's a giant old woman, rotting away as we speak but somehow still walking and talking. She's bent down so that she can talk to us.
"I got murdered," she says.
The man tuts. "A terrible thing."
"The murderer has two more acts of penance to complete," she says.
I feel a shiver gathering on my spine. She just said I had two more acts of penance to do, so she means me. I'm pretty sure I would remember killing a giant and I have no idea what she's talking about.
"Although their repentance is for the sake of another, not me," she continues. "I would never let a little thing like death get in my way."
The man grins.
"Be free, Rat Tooth," she says to him.
I can't stop myself asking, "'Rat Tooth'? That's a bit harsh, isn't it?"
It feels like the world is holding its breath, even though nothing is holding still. The squirrelly idiot salutes and runs into the milling crowd of people. The milling crowd themselves don't stop doing whatever it is that is there everyday lives. But somehow it feels like it's just me and this stinking pile of rotten flesh.
"You can't have changed so much in a month. You didn't change at all the month between killing me and coming to ask my help," she says.
I have a hard time believing I've killed anybody, if only because things change so much around here that I have no idea what the consequences might be or how to avoid them.
"Do you regret murdering the elf?"
I open my mouth to answer but can't decide between "yes" or "no" as the least likely to get me trapped. Both answers could be seen as admitting to doing something I have no idea if I've done. I wouldn't even know what an elf looks like.
"Eh. I see you can't even regret the one sin," she says. "So, if you want me to tell you how to go home, you must complete two more tasks for me. Two more acts of penance."
Home. Where is home? Do I want to go back if I don't know where it is?
The zombie giant speaks again. "You will wash up all the dishes used at the Eternal Banquet!"