“Thank you so much for taking Linus,” said Donald. “You were such a good friend to my mother when she was alive.”
A pair of suspicious yellow eyes in a grey and black tabby face peered up at Melissa through the black wire mesh of the cat crate. She knelt on the doorstep and peered inside.
“Hi Linus,” she said.
Linus backed up into the corner and hissed at her. Donald fidgeted like a meek parent with an unruly child.
“He knows she's gone,” Donald said. “He’s been roaming all over the house looking for mom and crying all the time. He knows you, so I feel like he’ll be happy here. I wish we could take him back home because the kids love him, but my wife is extremely allergic. She’s been surviving on allergy pills the whole time we’ve been cleaning out Mom’s place.”
Melissa took the crate from Donald and said, “It’s fine. Linus is welcome here. Right, honey?”
She glanced at Alex. He was tapping out a message on his phone with his thumbs.
“Right, Alex?”
He glanced up and Melissa jerked her head at Linus in his crate.
“Oh. Yeah, sure. Linus is cool.”
It was not the reassuring welcome Melissa had hoped for, but it would have to do.
“Just leave the box of Linus' things inside the door, Don. Alex will take it inside.”
But Alex followed Melissa inside, eyes on his phone, and Linus’ things abandoned on the doorsill.
“Another slice of pizza?”
Melissa poured herself more wine, but Alex’s eyes were fixed squarely on his phone.
“Alex.”
“Huh?”
Melissa took the phone from him and set it on the counter. She said, “What’s up with you, honey? You’ve been really...detached lately.”
Alex glanced at the pizza box. His phone buzzed on the counter and his eyes slid back to it.
“Mel, I’m not happy,” he said. “We need to talk.”
The phone buzzed again. She shot up from the table and Alex lunged for it, but she snatched it off the counter before Alex could reach it. The chat app was still open onscreen.
Stacy: Have you told her yet?
Alex: Not yet. Soon, baby.
Stacy: Hurry up. I’m lonely. And horny... 😊
Melissa read and reread the messages. She scrolled up and up and up. The date stamps went back for months and there were pics, too. A woman’s naked breasts and her flat tummy. Alex had sent pics of himself, too.
Melissa felt hollow. Her eyes burned and she swiped at them, hating herself for crying in front of Alex, but he had taken a shovel and carved a big scoop out of her chest. Her mind bounced from one thought to another like a startled bird.
“How could you do this to me?” she whispered.
“Give me the phone, baby,” Alex said. “Let me explain.”
“Explain?” She wanted to throw up. “Explain?!”
Melissa flung the phone at Alex’s head in an uncontrollable burst of rage.
“I’m the ugliest woman in the world, Linus.”
Melissa sat on the carpet outside her laundry room in her comfiest pajamas. After a week of ice cream and chili fries, she felt gross and fat. She glanced through the door and Linus eyed her warily from atop the washer, his long black tail snaking slowly side-to-side.
“You’ve been hiding here a whole week, Linus. What’s wrong?”
Linus sat down but didn’t take his yellow eyes off her. Impatient, she scooped him up, but he hissed and smacked her with his paw.
“Stop it! You can’t stay in here forever!”
Linus clamped his jaws around the heel of her thumb and bit down hard. His fangs pierced her skin like needles, and she dropped him.
“God damned cat! Stay in here for all I care!”
On the other side of the house Melissa’s phone rang, and her watch displayed her sister’s smiling face. Melissa picked up the cell and said, “Hi, Robin.”
“Hi! How’s it going with Linus?”
“The beast bit me. And he won’t come out of the laundry room.”
“Hm. Give him time.”
“He’s eating, at least.”
“Good. Listen, I want to see Robert Pattinson kick some criminal ass. Want to come over and watch The Batman?”
“I’ve got too much work.”
“Bullshit. You’re going to eat another pint of Haagen-Dazs and cyberstalk your worthless, cheating ex.”
“Robin, he won’t stop posting his damned chiselled abs all over Instagram. That asshole.”
“Mel, unfollow him!”
“Yeah. You're right,” Melissa muttered as she opened Alex’s new Instagram story and watched him put his arm around Stacy and smile into the camera.
Melissa dropped a spoonful of tuna into Linus’ bowl next to a heap of dry chicken kibble. He had been a good boy all week and deserved a treat.
“Lunch is ready, Linus!”
From behind the kitchen counter, she watched Linus stop at the doorway and regard her silently.
“Come out here to eat.”
Linus blinked in silent reproach. She had managed to coax him as far as the doorway but no farther. Still, it was progress. Melissa sighed, crossed the house, and set the bowl on the carpet outside the laundry room door. Linus chirped and tucked into his food.
“Ungrateful lout,” she smiled.
Upstairs in her bedroom, Melissa opened Alex’s closet doors. He had left so much stuff behind—all his “fat clothes”—and it was time to clean the house. She sighed.
His button-ups still held his scent and her breath snagged in her throat as memories they had made flooded back. His loud Old Navy shirts from their first Caribbean vacation twisted slowly on the hanger rod. The sexy hula girls mocked her as they danced under leaning palms. She had loved him—loved him still, if she was honest—but he’d shed his skin and slithered away. Everything he abandoned, along with her, was a silent reminder that she was no longer good enough for him. Melissa’s heart cracked and she sat heavily on the end of the bed and cried.
As she wiped her eyes and blew her nose, Linus watched from the bedroom hallway.
Melissa’s watch vibrated and her phone displayed her sister’s smiling face. Melissa shut her office door and picked up the call.
“Hi, Robin,” she said.
“Hi! How’s Linus?”
“Gee, Robin, I’m great. Thanks for asking.”
“I know how you’re doing, dummy. You’re cyberstalking your son of a bitch ex.”
Melissa closed the Instagram tab on her browser and Alex’s grid feed disappeared.
“No, I’m not,” she said and winced at how defensive she sounded. “I haven’t looked at Twitter all day.”
“Liar.”
“He’s not posting obnoxious gym pics at all. I haven’t seen a single Instagram story from him about how much fun he’s having at all the best nightclubs in town with...Stacy!”
“Mel, you gotta stop this. You’re going to drive yourself crazy.”
“I know. I have stopped—more than once—but remember how many times you quit smoking? It’s like that for me right now.”
Robin was quiet on the other end then said, “Yeah, I know it’s tough. But seriously, how is Linus? It’s been almost a month. Is he still camped out in the laundry room?”
Melissa glanced at a framed photo of Linus on her desk. In it, one pointy black ear and one yellow eye spied on her around the corner of the living room ottoman. She had been reading on the couch at the time and managed to snap that picture before Linus slinked off to sleep or bathe or whatever he did in secret. She smiled.
“He’s coming around,” she said.
“Don’t you do it. I mean it, Linus.”
Melissa was eating dinner and had caught sight of Linus jumping onto the counter. She didn’t like him up there but was happy he’d started exploring the house. He had taken an interest in her grandmother’s blown glass vase she had washed and set out to dry. He nudged it with his paw toward the edge of the counter. Like a mischievous little boy, Linus got a thrill out of pushing her buttons.
“I swear to God, Linus, if you break my grandma’s vase you will wake up in the animal shelter.”
Melissa got up to rescue the vase and Linus jumped down, but as he did, his hip knocked the vase onto its side, and it rolled off the edge of the counter before Melissa could catch it.
“Linus!” Melissa cried as it shattered into a million pieces.
Melissa went after him, and he took off up the stairs like a black tabby rocket.
Cursing him under her breath, she swept up broken glass until a shard found its way into her bare foot. She hobbled off to the bathroom, leaving spots of blood in a trail behind.
Melissa sat on the toilet tweezing the piece of glass out of the ball of her foot and paused long enough to address a little black head that poked around the door frame. Linus’ big eyes followed a drop of blood from her foot to the floor.
“I see you over there,” she said. “You’re done here, Linus. Your checkup is tomorrow and I’m asking the vet about shelters.”
Linus blinked.
The examination room door opened and a woman in a white lab coat strode in.
“Hi! I’m Dr. McMillan. You must be Melissa. You're looking after Linus now that Mrs. Barbossa passed?”
“For now, but I think he needs a shelter.”
“Oh,” Dr. McMillan frowned. “Linus is a bad roommate?”
Melissa pulled up her sleeves. There were red scratches all over her arms.
“These are from today’s battle getting him into that crate. I gave it a month, but...maybe I’m not a cat person.”
“That’s unusual for him.” Dr. McMillan set down her clipboard and said, “Let’s see what mood he’s in.”
She opened the crate and peeked inside.
“Hey there, cutie.”
Linus emerged, peered up at Dr. McMillan, and leaned into her, rubbing his head up and down her coat. Dr. McMillan scratched his chin and Linus closed his eyes, purring in relief.
“He seems calm right now,” Dr. McMillan said.
“He is not that way at home, trust me. He won’t play. He won’t even let me near him.”
“I believe you,” Dr. McMillan said. “Mrs. Barbossa had Linus a long time, you know. She got him as a kitten when her husband passed away, but now his only friend has disappeared and he’s living in a strange house with strange smells and a strange human who insists on being friends. I'm sure your own life hasn’t been without upheaval. Didn’t you need time to adjust? Maybe just leave him alone and let him settle down.”
Linus cried all the way home and when Melissa opened his crate he ran straight for the laundry room.
“I’m sorry, Linus,” she said from the doorway. “I didn’t know how you felt. Stay in there as long as you need.”
One Saturday evening, three months after Alex left, Melissa was curled up on one end of the sofa with a Michael Connelly novel and Linus was bathing himself on the other. Melissa’s phone rang and, expecting it to be her sister, she picked it up but caught her breath at the name on the screen. Linus cast a curious glance her way, but Melissa let the phone ring unanswered as she stared at the screen. Why was he calling?
“It’s Alex,” Melissa said. Linus blinked and resumed bathing.
Melissa declined the call and returned to her novel, but while Harry Bosch ran around Los Angeles chasing clues to his latest murder, Melissa’s mind ran in the background asking question after question. Unable to concentrate, she closed the book and emptied the dishwasher.
At bedtime, Melissa undressed and flung the day’s old clothes into the hamper, answered a text from her sister, and saw that she had a voicemail message. She let it play as she changed into her pyjamas.
“Hi Mel...it’s Alex.... Just...uh...wondering how you’re doing...that’s dumb.... Listen, you’ve been on my mind, and I feel bad how I let things go down and I wanted to talk...to apologize. Call me. Please.”
Linus watched Melissa with a steady, yellow-eyed stare from the corner of the dresser.
“Of course, I’m not going to call him,” she said. “I'm not dumb.”
Linus swished his tail around his hindquarters and continued to regard her.
Melissa woke up thinking about Alex and replayed his message in bed. She listened to it over coffee then again as she spread jam over her English muffin and again as she pulled segments off a sweet orange and popped them into her mouth. Linus watched in solemn silence from the empty seat next to her.
“Listen to the way he says ‘Please’ at the end. Sounds like a man dealing with some regret.”
Linus blinked at her slowly and allowed Melissa to stroke his head.
Melissa played the message again as she cleaned up the breakfast dishes, but it ended with a clunk. Linus sat on the table looking down at the phone where it lay face up on the floor. Melissa sighed.
“Linus, we’re not starting this again.”
She picked up the phone and set it on the counter. As she unloaded the dishwasher and listened to Alex for a sixth time, the warmth of his voice tugged at her heart. Through her heartache and anger, Melissa had forgotten how much she loved it.
Another loud clunk cut him off. Linus sat on the counter and stared down at the phone, the black tip of his tail twitching and twisting.
“That’s enough, you little bugger.”
Melissa scooped Linus into her arms and tried to pet him, but he leaned away.
“I know that you think everything is a toy for you to play with, but that’s a $1000 phone, Linus. It’s my toy. Okay?”
She put him down and he walked across the face of her phone.
Melissa sat on the end of her bed, phone in one hand and one of Alex’s Old Navy shirts in the other. Her thumb hesitated over the Call button and Linus watched silently from the top of the hamper.
“Don’t judge me,” she said. “I know what I’m doing.”
Heart racing, she sent the call and buried her face in Alex’s shirt as the line rang. It hardly smelled of him at all anymore.
“Hello?”
“Alex, it’s Melissa.”
“Hi! I...I’m so glad you called! I didn’t think you’d take a chance.”
“It was the polite thing to do. How are you? Still hitting the gym every day?”
“Twice a day now. It’s chest day.”
“Sounds fun. How’s work?”
“Same old grind. You know how it is. How are you?”
“I’m in line for a promotion at the bank. Regional Commercial Accounts Manager.”
“You deserve it, Mel. Really. You work so hard for them.”
The line caught a female voice in the background and an icicle pierced Mel’s heart. Was that her rival?
“How are things with Stacy?” Even the woman’s name hurt her heart.
“Uh...fine. We’re doing great.” Alex’s voice turned furtive, and Mel smiled. “Listen, I can’t talk long but I’d love it if we could catch up some time.”
Melissa smiled to herself. She knew that question was coming up.
“How about this Saturday?” she asked. “Our Starbucks?”
“Yeah! Does 10 AM work?”
“Sure. See you then.”
Melissa hung up and reached for Linus, but he jumped down and left the room.
“Linus, don’t be like that. I know what I’m doing!”
Starbucks' retro wall clock read 9:55 AM. Melissa, warming her hands around an americano in a paper cup, nervously scanned the parking lot from a table for two at the window. At five after ten, a red Audi turned into the parking lot and Melissa’s heart began to race. She grabbed her jacket, her purse, and her americano and hurried outside.
Alex flashed his easy grin over the gleaming roofs of the other cars.
“It’s great to see you,” he said. He leaned in for a hug, but Mel sidestepped and handed him her coffee instead.
“For me? Thanks,” he said, pretending to be unphased by the brushoff, then he noticed the red lipstick on the rim.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“That's my coffee. Just wait here.”
Melissa was parked two spots away. She popped her trunk and lifted out a heavy box with both hands.
“What’s all this...?” Alex asked.
Melissa plopped the box on the Audi’s trunk lid and took back her americano. On the side facing Alex, in black capital letters, Melissa had scrawled ALEX’S SHIT. His face darkened with understanding.
“I see. I guess we’re not having coffee,” he said.
“You assumed this was a date, didn’t you? You don’t get to break my heart then sweet talk your way into a do-over.”
“Do we have to do this here?”
“Did you expect to slide back into my bed in three weeks' time?”
“No, Mel--”
“You’re a liar, Alex. You’re lying right now. You forgot how well I know you. This is not a date. We will never date again. Take your shit and never call me again. Goodbye.”
Melissa’s cheeks ached from grinning all the way home. As she had watched Alex get shrink in her rearview mirror, her heart buoyed in her chest and were it not for her seatbelt and the car around her, she might have floated away like a balloon. She was clean again, her mind and heart scrubbed free of the film that had clung to her, that had dimmed the sunlight and muted her happiness.
At home, Linus was affectionate. He curled around her ankles as she made a fresh green salad and hummed to herself while she sliced the tomatoes, cucumbers, red onion, and carrots. He stood guard at the windowsill, suspicious of a bird hunting for worms in the grass. As Melissa cleaned up the kitchen, he dozed on the hassock in a sunbeam like a lion on the plains of the Serengeti.
“What do you think, Linus?” Melissa asked as she folded herself into a corner of the couch with her Michael Connelly novel. Linus yawned and stretched luxuriously, down to his toes. He sat up, curled his tail around his paws, and blinked at her, long and slow. Melissa reached out and he allowed her to pet him, tilting his head and closing his eyes.
“You’re a good boy, Linus. You were always a good boy.”
Linus crossed the empty space between them, curled down in the crook of Melissa’s lap, and went back to sleep.
~~~~~~~
© Kevin M. Coleman 2023
Photo credit Martin Katler