THAT. TRAILER. Watching it was the most excited I have been in some time. As an added synchronicity, the trailer released almost a year to the date of my first day on set for the movie itself, as a background actor.
Now, I know that it’s a few days after the release, but I had to take some time to allow my feelings to wash over me. And while the urge to speak on my affections was immediate, it still needed time to take shape. I initially thought to make a video of some kind, more than likely a Tik-tok, where I have been posting my lengthier spoken messages. However, I truly felt that I would not be able to wrap my feelings into some neatly packaged 3-minute video. I was also reminded by my higher self that when all else fails, I am a writer. It is my original form of expression for convincing my feelings and thoughts to line up long enough for me to capture them. So it is with matters of the heart, yes. Settle in and allow me to pour out some of said heart, to you.
A little back story: I moved to Atlanta from DC in August of 2019 with the intention of doing TV & Film production. While living in DC, I was actively doing research on Howard’s campus the year Mr. Chadwick did the commencement speech. I remember watching them set up the chairs and stage on the lawn the day before graduation, and feeling the momentum of it all. Little did I know that he would be there less than 24 hours later– I watched the recording of that speech online too many times to count. You see, my family is from Pelzer, SC, not far from Anderson, SC where Mr. Chadwick is from. Hometown glory and all, it made me even more proud of him, as if he were one of my own. My older cousin worked in the SC school systems for years, was faculty at his high school and familiar with him and his siblings. Not to mention his family church etc. The Bosemans are well known and loved. And so, in spring of 2019, prior to leaving for Atlanta, I had taken a production course at the DC public broadcast network and worked as a script-supervisor for a web-series. I fell in love with the entire process of production. Wanting to continue to pursue a career in the industry, I wanted to live where there were more opportunities to do so. The obvious choices were (back to ) New York, Los Angeles, and Atlanta. Having lived in Atlanta when I was younger, I never felt that I had a reason to move back. Now with Black Hollywood, it seemed to be the obvious choice.
Prior to leaving DC, I had found a production assistant bootcamp in Atlanta run by the Atlanta Film Society, and planned to take it upon arrival. However, once I had relocated, my finances and work schedule prohibited me from participating as soon as I would have liked. So, on my off days, I began doing background acting work, just as a way to be on set. Or so I thought. As a performer, it ended up feeling so natural. Ironically, my first gig for background was as a Soul Train dancer on the BET series ‘American Soul’. After missing a few cohorts of the bootcamp, I was finally able to sign up for the class and get the necessary time off for the end of February 2020. My grandfather, bless his heart, passed mid-february and I might have faltered in taking the class if I had not already fully committed to it. Less than two weeks after I took the course, Covid began sweeping the globe. The pandemic was something none of us could have prepared for, even if we had the chance. While trying to come to grips with the current state of things, I also had to reconcile within myself the postponement of my dreams for the foreseeable future. I was questioning my staying in Atlanta, and what it all meant for my personal journey overall. But, weren’t we all?
After the apathy that began to settle in as a response to missing my grandfather and the pandemic itself, the shock of Chadwick’s passing sent ripples through my being. In the immediacy of the grief, I was floored. But then I found that a part of me deep within had been set ablaze and wanted to fight for my dreams– even those that I hadn’t yet truly admitted to myself that I wanted. For fear of dismissal. For fear of rejection. Failure. Not being good enough. For fear of it being too late to start. Dreams that had never truly felt accessible to me. The desire to be an actor, that I had never let escape my inner knowing, and my desire to re-enter my pursuit of being a performer as my most creative self, consumed me all at once. Suddenly, I had to DO. What if time ran out before I ever let myself be seen or before I gave myself permission to pursue my dreams with abandon? Chadwick had embodied his truth and greatness so totally that it was truly an expression of the creator. Our talents, abilities and potentials do not belong to us alone. So what a grave disservice we do to the world by not pursuing them wholeheartedly. Our ability to create and to become is a spiritual power that has the potential to affect real change in this world. In honor of all that our Black Panther represented, I chose to take hold of my own torch. I made a promise that day not to let another moment go by that I take my dreams or my ability to create for granted. Over the following year or so, from Summer 2020 to Spring 2021, I began to explore everything I have ever wanted to do creatively in order to get back to the root of it all. I had orchestrated my own headshot photoshoots and assembled my online presence and portfolio. Podcasting and content creation led me back to modeling, which led me to an opportunity to get back working as a background actor, but full time.
By Mid-Summer 2021, in a full circle moment, I found myself on the set of Wakanda Forever as a background actor; 5 days a week for a little over a month. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, the memory of Mr. Chadwick was present each and every day. It was in the weight of Mr. Coogler’s presence. It was in Mrs. Bassett’s strength and composure. It was in the depths of Miss Lupita, Miss Danai and Mr. Winston’s eyes. Day after day, week after week, I got to come back to that sort of hallowed ground. And while there were obstacles and difficulties for everyone on set, the determination to be excellent and to bring it home never seemed to waver for too long. 14+ hour days in and 14+ hour days out, it was truly a grand thing seeing so many talented professionals pulling to make this movie what it deserved to be. I am forever changed.
It was also on the set of Black Panther where I realized background acting wasn’t where I intended to stay and I recommitted to the promise and intention I had made the year before. If I was going to act, I was going to do what it took to push myself all the way. After being very sick from covid for 2 months in the fall following filming, I did all that I could to get back to getting my creative self in order as soon as I could. I healed and persisted and I was signed to a talent agency before the end of the year. The first half of 2022 has been challenging but I am keeping my focus. And in the midst of efforting to do just that, the trailer released and is just the nudge I needed to keep my eyes on the possibilities that lie ahead. To remember how I got here and to honor my journey so far. My intention is to be in Acting classes before this fall. Excellence, I’m coming.
So thank you, Mr. Chadwick, for being our royal Black Panther. Sometimes the world can make you feel like you cannot get to where you want to be by living a heart-facing, integrity centered life. Chadwick’s legacy is blatant proof that it is, in fact, possible. I am grateful for how he has affected the trajectory of my life and I am glad to have shared space with so many people who love him dearly. Like the rest of the world, I wait to witness the full greatness of Wakanda Forever, in his honor and with a deep love and appreciation. I am beyond grateful to have been a part of something so momentous. I pray that his family and dear friends take comfort in knowing that his life and legacy have affected others in great ways. That’s the thing about Art. Creativity is a part of personal spiritual power; I believe Mr. Chadwick knew that.
I look forward to writing more after the movie releases in November
All is Love,
Lola ❤
(Somehow I made it through writing this piece without crying *Whew*)