Them jeans is serious denim, man, serious. They got three point one four legs and sixteen flies ten buttons four zipper and two of the freaking Velcro variety that’ll have your crotches done up tighter than a Texas nun at a Louisiana leather factory. I tell you what, you take them in your hands, man, and feel all those denims in there, that’s right fifty-two denims to be exact, all stuffed in like they were Texas sardines in a Louisiana can factory. Yessiree, man, can you feel it? All those denims? Yessir, that’s got all your Q’s right there: quality, quomfort, and equonomy. You heard me! And I didn’t even shout . That exclamation point showed up on its own because it too was simply amazed at the power of these jeans. Even grammar and punctuation itselves is hot to slide on a triple pair of these bad boys. So don’t look at me like I was some kind of Texas sales dog in a Louisiana flea market factory when I tell you that pants like these only come around about once or maybe thrice a lifetime , you know? And believe you me when I say that you do not want it to be the only time you put yourself in a pair of these elegant super slacks is via the undertaker when they is dressing you for the big barbecue in the sky. Because that’d be a real shame. These are the kinda pants you wanna die in not be dead in, of course, nothing’ll please the big wazoo upstairs like seeing some fresh soul strut on in wearing a pair of these bad boys. Let me tell you. Okay, I will. You’d be blowing sexual doors off the whole goddamn place. And I’m talking about the afterlife here which according to whichever good book you wanna reference is probably fashion and sex-wise the most of both in the whole universes. I mean all of ‘em, from here to there to over there and whatever Nth versions in between. So if you can slide yourself up the social ladder and on into the land of ghosts and orgasms with something as simple as kick-ass pants than it is probably no make that it is for actual sure for the absolute best that I’m here to help you out. So what’ll it be? What do I have to do to put your legs into a fresh pair of these excellent jeans today?