This week I dive into my own personal journey surrounding the topic of self-worth. I’ve always known I was worthy of having everything I ever desired in my life. Yet deep down I truly believed otherwise. I felt I didn’t deserve a happy life because of my own misdeeds. Whether intentional or not, I felt guilty.
Like when your mind decides to remind you of all the fuckery when you just trying to enjoy life. Let’s call her negative nancy. The girl you don't want to invite to the party cause she just won’t STFU about the past.
“Don’t let this girl get anywhere near the alcohol, please!” Just kidding.
Jokes aside, my younger self had done some messed up things and although I made amends it still lingered within my subconscious. Showing up in places where it did not belong. The shower, dressing up, doing my makeup, making money, chilling with family or friends, and whenever I had the courage to go after what I wanted in life.
So what did I do to combat this?
I started to journal my thoughts surrounding what I was saying to myself. Even creating mantras to help deepen my new beliefs. Of course, I had to do the research deep inside myself to get to the point of forgiveness.
Here are some affirmations I’ve created to help me along the way:
Let’s get a little personal here.
For most of my life, someone always had an opinion of me even projecting their own beliefs onto me. So whenever I fucked up I learned to beat myself up mentally. Repeating awful things to myself as if that would make me feel any better. But how could I know if I saw it as a bad thing, and not as a reminder to do better? Even though what they said was fucked up.
I remember when my social workers projected onto me about I am another statistic being a teen mom. Or when I had a huge argument with my best friend at the time and felt like I couldn't speak my truth as well. Personally, I hate conflict it makes my anxiety go through the roof. So when I did mess up it hit me hard. Especially knowing I hurt someone I cared about.
So in life, we may go around thinking we can never be the “bad guy.” Until we are the “bad guy” and it shatters what we thought about ourselves. But that is not a time to scrutinize every detail of our failure to act better. It is a time to actually question, what can I learn from this situation?
To find solutions instead of “should have known better.” There are ways to find the positive in a situation but to get there we have to undo old beliefs. Believing that good people don’t do “bad” things is not a way to go in life. It's how you perceive the scenario. Learning about boundaries, signals, and compassion. To build on it and learn to forgive in the process.
Any mistake we make in school, in our careers, and in our relations with ourselves and others is only there to teach us a lesson. May not like the lesson or may think less of yourself doesn’t make you a bad person. If anything a really human one. We are designed to make mistakes and grow from them. It’s always up to us what we do with the information presented.
Building upon our own perceptions, ideas, and beliefs around day-to-day situations. Seeing for what it truly is and let go of what it is not. We are always our own biggest critics but with daily inner work, you shall grow in wisdom. Practicing with your tools and growing in every way.
Why?
Because you deserve to see yourself in a loving and positive way. You deserve to know it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to feel the way you feel. It's okay to be human!
You are the student, teacher, and master. What will you master in your life today?
So please be kind in all that you do. When life hands you them lemons, you better go make that banging ass lemonade. Remember, you are the creator of your world. Inside or out you make it happen. It’s time to undo the bullshit and open ourselves to a new dialogue. One that is filled with positivity and love.
Burn that bridge of unworthiness and see the beauty of who you are. One day at a time my dear. Humanity wasn’t built in one day. You got this.
May your days be abundant in love, joy, and peace. You matter in every way. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to just BE.
XO, CONSCIOUS
Spiritually Intuitive Healer
Made by Conscious, LLC.
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