So, you're thinking about buying Matt a cup of coffee? Well, what's stoppin' ya?! How do you know that I'm not going through a major caffeine withdrawal along with a midlife crisis, and a cup of coffee would save my life? Or, what if I'm having a terrible day and all I needed was a cup of Joe to make all the wrongs right, but that wasn't going to happen because I was broke? Or maybe I was preaching at a mega church and I didn't realize they had three services, and I ran out the door without any coffee? Would you want to be the sorry sap sitting in the second or third service listening to Matt with no enthusiasm, energy, or coffee?! Scary!
Do you see where your ministry lies? This is why I need you to knock one out of the park for good ol' Matt, that way he can get a cup of coffee and a donut with sprinkles, if they have it! "Matt, are you really going to drink that much coffee?" Absolutely! Whatever I don't drink in coffee is going towards the funding of aircraft, houses, cars, yachts, country club memberships, and caviar! Maybe even an Omega Sea Master watch! Just kidding!
Actually any funds that are not consumed through coffee beverages will be deposited and stored in a secured steel vault surrounded by armed guards 24/7 until I have saved enough money to purchase a mirrorless camera.
I'm only needing 10 million people to buy me a cup of coffee in order for me to live this type of life! I believe that we can do it! Then you could join me on my yacht, and have lunch with me at my country club!
Actually I’m very grateful that you are even thinking about buying me a cup of the good stuff, let alone two, it warms my heart! May God generously bless you.