The Affliction
Self-portrait - 3 Augustus 2021
Do you believe pain is a part of life?
This image was suppose to be release last week, but I felt so uncertain of making it public. I was afraid of a lot of things, how others will perceive me, will it be too explicate, will it actually communicate the theme I wanted to share or will it all just be a big mistake. But after a week of contemplating, talking to my beautiful and encouraging photography group and sharing my insecurities with those close to me I've decided that it's in my best interest in releasing the image.
Each step we take has uncertainty around it, but as a beautiful human, Verity Corvo, said to me, "I spent too large a part of my life censoring myself, that I am unwilling to do that in my art. I follow my own level of comfort, but the freedom of full expression is deeply important." and these words I believe set me free.
This image revolves around pain, for me it's physical pain. At least twice daily I'll be in this position, shown in the image, because of the extreme pain I endure with Endometriosis and IBS. Sometimes I don't get to crawl up in a ball or have a heating bag with me and then you just have to endure the pain and not let others see it. For me my small ball of human parts clumped together helps a bit and so everyone has there own way of dealing with pain, be it physical or emotional pain. For me another way of getting rid of that pain, anger, fear and all the other things going with Endometriosis and IBS, is my art. The way I get to choose what is represented and how. Me deciding what I share and how I work through pain, hopefulness, fear, anger and all the other emotions we humans have. Hopefully helping someone along the line to see they are wildly capable of anything they put their mind to. There is limits, but we are creative creatures who can work around all the limits we encounter.
For me pain is a part of life. We can't learn anything if we don't feel some sort of emotion towards it, be it pain, fear, happiness or sorrow. Stump your toe at that corner table and you eye that fucker each time as if it'll jump in front of you. But you learned even if it was sore as hell and hopefully it won't happen again.
So, do you believe pain is a part of life?