Dec 28, 2021
5 mins read
I have been thinking, learning, and experiencing this issue for a number of years. I've come to some conclusions:
People are looking for a way to build better relationships with their partner(s) and to improve the environment of personal relationships and the community and nation, here are my recommendations:
Don't have sex or date, someone, you don't trust, like, and respect. Yes, this takes self-insight, personal responsibility, and integrity. Start having some conversations really quickly if you encounter your partner doing something you dislike, disrespect, or distrust. If you don't like the result of the conversation, or the outcome is not mutually beneficial, end the relationship immediately.
Do not commit ANY KIND (emotional/physical/cyber) of infidelity on your partner. This is indicative of a lack of respect and it is emotionally and psychologically abusive.
If you even think you might want more than one partner, then make sure to disclose that upfront and keep the lines of communication open at all times. If your partner doesn't want to be part of that, that's wonderful news because that means that they are giving you the gift of freedom to be with someone who is compatible with you. Do not look that gift horse in the mouth, accept it and move on. Make sure to treat your partner(s) with respect when you're communicating with them.
If you do not know how to treat your partner with respect in your interactions and/or communications with them, seek behavioral health professional to assist you, and in the meantime seek a Couples Therapist to help the two of you through it. I know, it is a lot of work, but it is critical to individual, relationship, and community health.
One thing that will help relationships would be to open a Trust for your special someone, especially if you're hesitant about marriage. If you need help doing it, make sure to reach out to a licensed financial advisor and/or lawyer in your area. There are different ways to fund these Trusts such as with real estate, stocks, cash, and insurance policies, and a licensed financial advisor and/or lawyer can help you with that. The trust will still be in place if you a.) Don't proceed with the marriage b.) You do Proceed with the Marriage. Fund it generously and regularly.
Dating/Unmarried/Married Parents: Open a Trust and a 529 for each one of your kids as soon as you find out about the pregnancy. Fund it generously and regularly. I have read that this can often be a helpful tool if/when child support becomes a topic of discussion. Also, licensed investment brokers are able to invest Trust Funds for your children.
Insurance policies can also be set up to be deposited to Trusts. This is also a helpful tool and I encourage people to use it.
Don't get involved in a relationship where your partner either does not want or is incapable of being a mutually beneficial emotional and financial partner. Injury may be prevented to one or both partners if you're equally yoked. If things are NOT equal, make sure to acknowledge that and take responsibility for that. If there are or could be kids, think about the consequences of this on the children as well.
It might make better sense to make a conscious effort to make sure that there is an equitable Representation in the State and Federal Legislatures that is reflective of the population demographics. Currently, in Congress, there is a lot of Representation of elderly, wealthy, white male-bodied people and we are getting a lot of laws issued that benefit that demographic of people; I think that the legislative body needs to be transformed to more accurately reflect each geographic area's population while making sure to keep in mind and preserve the 14th Amendment in all legislating.
For Example, 50.8% percent of the US overall is female-bodied people, but in my State (Washington) it is 49.9%. So the Senate should be made up of 50.8% women (currently only 24%) and Washington state should be 49.9%, but it is currently 41.5%. At my county's level, the population is 49.7% female but only has 33.3% female representatives. We need more female representatives
Representatives' re-election Eligibility should be based on objective metrics conducted by a 3rd Party based upon the quality of life of their area's lowest quartile. The metrics include things like life expectancy, wages, health care outcomes, education attainment, and overall poverty.
Many have argued that this would be inequitable for areas that already have lower statistics, but this can be remedied with funding initiatives and targeted programs.
Universal Child Care. Families need a taxpayer-funded universal child care program.
Disabled Families/Households: It NEVER occurred to me that I could have a disabled child when I had my son. My doctors didn't mention it during my pregnancy. They didn't have the technology to identify my child's specific disability until he was 8 years old. I wish someone would have brought this topic up to me before I had my son, so I could have been better prepared. Most parents never imagine that their child could be born or develop a disability! It's an imperative consideration that has an effect on relationships, families, and entire communities. See my advice about Trust Funds above and ABLE accounts below.
Funding from the federal government and the state should go directly to the ABLE accounts. The savings on administrative costs would allow the state and federal legislatures to increase funding to their constituents and thus increase their lowest quartile Quality of Life indicators. This would allow families to 1. have money, in order to 2.) Spend on Services with 3.) Greater flexibility & freedom. This would also likely do a lot to mitigate the problems of rampant homelessness in this country.
BTW: Did you know that ABLE accounts can receive Gifts? That means that the code can be provided to individuals and entities that would like to do provide direct gifting. You can see how it works at my disabled son's ABLE account, here. Please consider donating to him. We would appreciate it very much!
Stay-at-home parents and caregivers of disabled or kin care should be paid a minimum of 125% of their areas Living Wage, provided healthcare, and get their FULL SSA credits.
Anyway, that's pretty much the summary of all of my years of thoughts on the topic. I may come back to edit this page later, but I hope it will be helpful for others to learn from my experiences.