It’s not about healing! 


That’s the end product


You cannot bypass the process. 


For the journey is the most important bit. 


But not the cyclical loop.





Ohhhhh I’m gonna go all in….


Healing.


The biggest PsyOp of our generation.


I get it now.


It’s not about Healing.!


Oh the healing game, one I’ve played SO deeply.

One game I’ve alloweeeeed to all consume me.


A drive within me to learn learn learn.


About myself so I could heal myself so my children would need not heal from anything.

Especially mother related.


A destination I, and SO many other abused people, drive fiercely TO.


The deepest current to swim in where the rips are ten to a penny.


Literally.


Re-Leasing and Looping in constant circles of eating our own Tales.


This endless drive to happiness, to safety, to life.

To live.


The endless SatNav of the mind that will not stop directing you.


The tolls you must stop and pay at every 3 miles.

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Did you know all our main roads are built over our old main canal systems?


Concrete overlays on a natural flow!

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HOW DO YOU FEEL?

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Healing… we’re taught all the things of how to.


Tools, THERE ARE SO MANY FUCKING TOOLS.


Too many tools.


And that’s the point.


So many ‘bright’ destinations along your way.


Becoming a healer or coach yourself.

Becoming financially stable in that.

Becoming a valued member of ‘community’.

Becoming one with yourself, healed and happy forever.


Ugh…


ITS NOT REAL LIFE.

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.


This seriously boils my inner sea now I sea this.


We’re told healing is not linear…

And it’s not.


It’s an endless loop of eating your own Tale.


Round and round the different layers of your E-motional body.

Round and round the different layers of the impact Trauma has had on the expression of your feelings.

Round and round the different layers of Self, clutching at the tools to hold us up along the way.


Putting our ‘gifts’ out front and centre.

The parts of ourselves we learned to hate and hide because Or our trauma.


Being loud and proud in how we heal.

And charging others to join us in our loop.

And valuing ourselves enough to invest in the next thing, the next course, the next modality, the next trauma informed space, the next fucking bullshit.

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WHERE IS YOUR MESS?



You know, RealLife?

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Not your Social media Bullshit of Mess.

Not your ‘destination’ you’ve reached ‘beyond your mess’

Not your ‘how to’ get out of your mess.

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Perfect doesn’t exist.


And the seething undercurrent of this most Addictive Sedative, Healing, is ripples with perfection disguised as Mess.

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To heal you must feel.


BUT HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU FEEL?

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Especially IN your mess.

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How do YOU show up?

Messy or ‘free’?

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Where is your healing destination that your driving to?

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Where is alllllll of that clouding your body IN what it feels?

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How DO you Feel?

In real life, in everyday, in every way?

.

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How are you eating your own tale driving around in circles to a destination you can never reach?

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What about you are you trying to heal?

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Because I bet my bottom dollar, it’s the one place, your not allowing yourself to FEEL.

- Nattie x