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Patricia Morton

Patricia Morton

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I work with people who have stress and anxiety. My blog shares my thoughts and experiences about what has helped me in my life which may help others in some way.

The way we talk to ourselves has a big impact on how we act in the world.  Studying how I think has helped me tremendously over the last few years in particular.  It's one thing knowing I have a 'problem', it's another thing dealing with it.  Thankfully I now have tools at my disposal which have helped me and countless others.  

As I work from home a 'virtual' coffee would be an amazing way of showing your appreciation!  Thank you!!

Recent Posts

Drinking the poisons of life.                                                                                    What does ultimate forgiveness really mean? Why should I forgive them? Surely that would mean they’ve got away with what they did? I carried this around with me for years; I couldn’t concentrate properly at school; always on the lookout for something to go wrong with my relationships, suffering with jealousy and needing constant reassurance - ‘the blame game’. It was my abuser’s fault for ‘doing it to me’; my parents fault; everyone’s fault except mine. The biggest problem was that it kept me rooted in the past. I learned to ‘live with it’ and ‘let sleeping dogs lie’. The big problem with living like that? Life’s triggers! It is possible to carry on enjoying life and living in the moment, sometimes for a very long time. Although frequently something happened ‘out of the blue’ that could ‘rock my world’ and transport me right ‘back there’ in an instant. It could have been a simple comment; a look; a gesture; a piece of music; a taste or a smell. My unconscious was on high alert looking for ways to ‘keep me safe’ from whatever harm may be evident and all of this was based on past experiences. As the years passed I had learned to forgive my abuser, but I would not forget what he did because that would mean I would have let him ‘off the hook’ in my mind. There’s an expression I hear so often; ‘I’ll forgive, but I won’t forget!’ What I now understand is that this is just like ‘drinking the poison and expecting the other person to die’.   Again, I didn’t fully realise what this meant for so many years either. Toxic thoughts; words; relationships are exactly that to us – a poison, which if we are really creative cause us to manifest dis-ease and illness in our bodies and many other undesired side effects. I’m changing my thought processes and clearing the old programmes which had kept me stuck and are no longer beneficial. Now I understand what I had been doing all along. My abuser may have died years ago: but he was alive inside of me. I had been doing this to myself (drinking the poison) ever since: It was my choice to give him the space inside my head. By forgiving the abuser who had resided inside of me does not mean that I condone his actions. It means I understand that abused people often go on to abuse others for whatever reason. I became the victim by not speaking up. Fortunately, I did not physically abuse anyone else, but it happened on an emotional level. The most abuse was aimed at myself with my thoughts. As I let myself ‘off the hook” and things that are toxic leave me, it is safe for me to let go and live a life of intention. I have found ultimate forgiveness for myself: by forgiving those who I had invited to live within me. Abundance, Health and Prosperity to You.

Reflections of the past.  If I could rewind my life, would I live it the same way? I used to think ‘no way, I’d change this and this’. Goodness, how my thinking has changed! It has been ‘quite a journey’. Up until recently, I was a people pleaser. Anything I could reasonably do for anyone I would, even when I was tired or simply didn’t want to. People would even volunteer me for things saying ‘I’m sure she won’t mind’. Losing myself had crept up on me during the years of being a busy wife, mum, daughter, sister, taxi driver for everyone, having a part time job and then I filled in the rest of my time with housework and some family fun time sprinkled in. I was so used to always doing something that even when I rested, my mind was going full pelt, imagining the worst and worrying about all sorts of things, which distracted me from the most important person to take care of - me. Of course my body told another story. After 2 pregnancies, gaining and losing weight, looking after my mother in law who had terminal cancer until she died, while looking after 2 children under 3 years old, took its toll. It started with depression, then the weight piled on despite a strict eating plan. To my own surprise, I listened to the voice inside which told me something was wrong. I had the symptoms of going through the menopause; the result was a hysterectomy at the age of 38 in the late 90’s. Those were clear signs that I was not looking after myself, but I was unaware of what the signs meant and what more could I do? I relied on the experts of the time, just like so many others do. These have been some of the building blocks that make me who I am today. My belief is that I am here to experience life. It’s about the choices I make and my journey. I’m here to discover who I truly am – which means it really is all about me! If I don’t value myself, then how can I expect you to value me: and how can I value others? The ‘people pleaser’ me is a memory as I ask myself ‘does this benefit me’? If the answer is no, then I say no and honour myself. My most valuable assets are my health, my time, my knowledge and expertise and I embody them. Many lessons are learned or experienced in different ways until I ‘get it’ and work through it. We reflect each other: do you like what you see in the mirror? If not, then how can you change it? After all it’s an inside job! I have enjoyed this life and all of my experiences. I love and appreciate each and every wonderful day. If I had my time again, yes, it would be the same because I absolutely love this amazing being! Abundance, Health and Prosperity to You.

Whatever you believe to be true………. What’s in a name? You may be surprised! For the first 6 months of my life, I was called by my birth name ‘Patricia’. An Aunt had started calling me ‘Paddy’ (as my father was Irish) - so it was decided to use my middle name ‘Carol’ instead. I was given a choice of which name to use going to a new school at 11 years old, and a part of me wished to be someone different from the child who had inappropriate experiences, so I felt like a change of name would change my identity. I was called Pat at school and Carol at home from age 11 – 16 years. It didn’t ‘feel right’ inside of me and hadn’t changed what had happened or how I felt about it: Carol was more comfortable (but still not completely ‘right’); even so, I reverted back.   Fast forward 40ish years and I am progressing with my inner work. I had believed my parents didn’t like the name Patricia, so I asked my mother. Of course they like Patricia – they chose it! Up until that point I hadn’t allowed myself to like my name as I believed they didn’t like it. Perhaps I, as a baby, had made some sort of decision based on being called different names? Now I could think about my name and even allow myself to like it. What an incredible moment that was for me: all sorts of beliefs dropped away that day.   After 28 years of marriage we had grown apart and the divorce was amicable. At the time I didn’t change my name, then as time went on I came to realise that not making a decision is a decision. The inner work continued and still inside there was ‘something’ about my name. I learned to listen and to question, sit with it and then made the decision to change my name – back to my birth name. No big deal you may be thinking. Who will I be? What did I believe? Different names, different identities. This was a huge step for me. No announcements, just do it. I felt fear, trepidation but also excitement. Social media was first. I changed my surname, then my first name. This was the person I was born to be – like coming home after a long journey. Initially I felt dizzy, disoriented. I even had to lie down! Astrology, numerology, whatever; my name is frequency and something good certainly happened in that moment. For the first time in my conscious awareness, I felt peaceful and fully contented inside. As I connect more with myself and question what I believe to be true, the old beliefs peel away and I come to know myself better. I realise that I am becoming more authentic and in touch with who I truly am, not trying to be what I think others want. Whatever you believe to be true, is true for you. Abundance, health and prosperity to you.

This was my article for the January 2019 Sibella magazine.  Please enjoy.  Is it playtime?  What am I waking up to today?  The sun rises.  The birds sing.  I am happy.  I am alive.  I am excited for this new day. Can it get any better?  Who is coming out to play with me today? The longer I live on this planet, the more I learn and the more I realise how much I don't know! I have a myriad of questions.  What exactly is wisdom?  Where does it come from?  How is it perceived? Wisdom, or sapience, is the ability to think and act using knowledge, experience, understanding, common sense and insight.  Wikipedia. An expression immediately comes to mind, 'the wisdom of the ages'. What exactly does this expression mean?  Whose wisdom is it?  Where does it come from? I don't have the definitive answer because I believe it means different things to different people.  If you and I were having this conversation, our interpretation of these five short words would differ one way or another.  Neither is right or wrong - just different. I see life as series of reflections.  A reflection often happens after a period of change or turmoil.  The choice is to remain stuck or decide to go with the flow which would potentially be a time of growth.  We are aware of living life looking for answers. Although we rarely know where we are heading, we end up being back at a certain point.  The view may be very similar, but in our experience of it, we become different. Have you noticed how everything is connected?  Take carers for example - doctors, dentists, nurses (or any other group) - no two are exactly the same.  Everything has similarities and differences.  We relate to different things.  Life is like that, and so are people.  We all learn in different ways, whether from pictures, sounds, our body’s experience, tastes or smell.  All are beautifully unique. Whatever is going on in your life, you are not broken.  Neither is there anything wrong with you.  Whilst you are reading this article nothing is changing in the world outside of you, whether you are calm or in turmoil.  Whatever is happening is within you.  It is your choice.  That knowledge and understanding is your wisdom. We are each creating our reality.  This brings each of us to where we are today - our destination right now is determined by the knowledge and understanding we each collect over our life time.  However, it's not about the destination.  Life is about the journey and all of the experiences on our way to the final destination.  The choices we make from day to day can either enrich our lives or keep us stuck.  Remember, if you're not happy you can change it. We are living in an amazing world right now, aren't we?  So with the knowledge and wisdom that you are an amazing creator, are YOU coming out to play with me today?

During this year (2019) I have been a published writer with Sibella online magazine for women.  I have enjoyed this journey so much that I have decided to continue with this work which I feel is beneficial to anyone who may be in the process of 'waking up' or generally into self help.