I have come to terms with the fact I have Autism enough that it affects my daily functioning. This is nothing to be ashamed of, and I wonder why it took me so long to seek help. I am a good person even if I fail often to show the outside world. I deserve love and care. I have done a lot of self-harm physically and mentally. You can be the smartest person on earth and still be held back by things outside your control. I can not willpower my way out of Autism, and my attempts have led me to develop a Dissociative disorder. That is unfortunate, but to spite it all, I still have hope.
I can change the way I treat myself so the people I love can also get to meet the real me. Thankfully I lucked out by being born into a supportive family. I'll find a way through this and hopefully get to enjoy making more posts. They are the door to let people in I can use consistently well.
So here is my self-portrait as a representation of where I stand with myself now. There is a lot of damage, once upon a time, I'd happily chuck this little guy in the trash. But Ronan is not trash. Now I see a pretty cute thing worth salvaging.
