It is hard to imagine that I have never seen this majesty before. My eyes gazing upward toward the sky, a slight departure from my usual downward gaze. In my mind, ground surveillance seemed important to avoid the ever embarrassing trip and fall. But there it was far above the skyline in full view the majestic swaying of the silvery green limbs. I wanted to be up there, way at the top. I felt compelled to get as high as I could in that tree. I desperately wanted a full view of what was below.
I wanted to be that bird high in the branches taking it all in. To be able to fly to its uppermost branches and see what was below was piqued my curiosity. I was feeling pure envy. Life on the ground can be wonderful but sometimes there is a longing for this gravity-bound human to rise high above the day to day even if it is just for a brief moment.
I’m not sure why todays' hike was different, why I was gazing upward. Maybe it was an unconscious prayer to the heavens, a call to my higher guides. This past year has been tough and a year of constant disruption. What I thought was a small bumped in the road has been disrupted by Natures' blowback. A pandemic virtually shut down what I do for a living. As an acupuncturist/massage therapist there was no getting around the 6-foot social distancing protocol. Every aspect of economic stability came to a screeching halt. With a drastic halt to a predictable routine came a year of self-reflection and as my city starts to open back up one question kept coming up. Do I go back to what I was doing or is it time for me to pivot? As I stood there looking up at this giant tree seemingly asking for clarity, I was looking for a broader view, a birds-eye view. Question upon question bombarded my mind, do I go back to hospice work or is it time for a change?
What do birds think as they glide into the higher branches? Do they just fly from one destination to another without premeditation, or do they calculate their next move as they look out over their terrain? It became clear to me that Nature is more simple, I don’t believe birds think like I do, worry about what is going to happen in a week, in a month, or in a year. They just, they are moved by rhythms, Natures' rhythms. At that moment I realized it was fear that had me stop and notice this wonderful tree. Fear of the future, fear of my next move, is it too risky to change jobs, to pivot to something different? Still looking up I realized it was time for me to let go and stop being afraid of what was next. Trust the rhythm of Natures. My mind wanders back to the question of the day, "should I go back to the grind of my job or should I look for something new?" I looked to my left and saw this bird sitting in a tree.
At that moment, I knew, and uttered the words, “trust the Universe and just be a bird”