Dear Friends in Silence,
On Thursday last the Silentium Spiritual Practice Group began our 4 week Advent journey using the special Kathy Escobar video series 'A Weary World: Refflections for a Blue Christmas.' With an extra post this week I invite those who were present on Thursday the opportunity to go deeper if you wish, and to those who couldn't be with us, the option participate in the week one experience:
Introducing The Series
There are so many of us who, for all kinds of reasons, suffer this time of the year and keep longing for hope, connection and peace in the middle of loss, chaos, and confusion; who feel the magnitude of our weary world weighing on our hearts and souls; who are wrestling with chronic pain, broken relationships, shattered dreams, fragile faith and unexpected losses.
In October 2019, the Escobars and their community were devastated by the death of one of their 5 children. Throughout their grieving process they were, and continue to be, committed to being real with themselves and others about their unimaginable heartbreak while remaining open for moments of reprieve, glimmers of hope, beauty and love. Kathy’s willingness to create and hold the sacred space of being real helped found and shape The Refuge, a Christian recovering community that she co-pastors in Denver.
This four part series is a conversation with Kathy discussing spiritual and life practices she has found helpful when crawling through seemingly impossible loss when it collides with the hustle-and-bustle holiday season. This is more than a “How to survive the holidays” guide, it is her true to life work learning how to Honour Reality, Be Honest, Hold Paradox (both the dark and the light) and Borrow Hope when she had none.
As you prepare to watch the film, perhaps for the second time, you might find it helpful to have your journal close by: As well as being useful to capture what is meaningful to you from the film and sharing, journalling has been scientifically proven to be a transformative process. You are invited not only to write things down but return to them, using your notes in your own, unique creative way.
Introducing Week One - Honouring Reality
In this first film of the four, Kathy Escobar encourages us to honor what is true, something critical to being able to heal through hard life circumstances. Some of us will try to cope with our pain by any means necessary. Some of us by buffering our pain so as not to upset the peace. Some of us are able to say it like it is, and some of us can hardly sit in the same room with our own pain.
In her book, Kathy writes, “Honoring our own unique realities is just that—honoring our unique realities. It’s owning that no matter what we’re feeling or experiencing related to life and faith, it’s our story. It’s the place we need healing, hope, connection. For some of us, we’re feeling the need for God..” (A Weary World, page 11)
(This is probably what made me chose this series …….) We need places where we can share about what hurts, what we’re struggling with, and what’s missing because that is how we will heal. We need places where we can be human. We need real people in our lives. The ones who honor reality, who listen to our story and let it be what it is. Let us be who we are. We need people who let us in on their struggles, pains, and real stories also.
Watch The Film - A Visio Divina Practice
As you prepare to watch the film, relax your defenses. Set aside the judging mind and invite in an attitude of wonder and curiosity. As you listen, notice your reactivity or receptivity to anything that comes up in the conversation with Kathy. Any habitual patterns or fears that may keep you closed in and closed off. Listen with awareness to what rises up or out, including memories. Note when a specific sentence, idea or image particularly speaks to or challenges you….
The movie will be available for viewing for one week from today at this link:
https://www.theworkofthepeople.com/premieres/444
After Watching The Film
Sit with what you have experienced for a minute. Let your thoughts and reactions settle. Then read through the following prompt questions (don’t feel the need to answer every one,choose and work with the one or two that seem to step forward from the rest). Write down or draw out your internal observations, capturing why you think that question stood out for you, where it took you and what gift or insight it seemed to be offering you.
OPEN MIND
What, if anything, did you hear that reminded you of yourself or your current situation?
What did you hear that gave you a new way to view yourself or your current situation?
OPEN HEART
What, if anything, was said that made you feel connected or not alone?
What did you hear that enlarged your compassion for yourself or someone else?
OPEN WILL
What, if anything, did you hear that was an invitation to lean into?
What did you hear that felt like it was something you would like to take action on?
Further Exploration
If you have time, explore more using the questions below from Kathy’s book, continuing to observe what may be emerging for you. Use your journal to write down what emerges for you, journaling will keep feelings moving up and out of the body:
1. What is your current reality? What is weighing on your heart, what is going on in your life
that is making your soul weary? What are you missing that you long for?
2. What do you need to let be in your current situation? What do you need to let go of trying to
figure out?
3. Where do you feel like you can most be yourself, where you can express your pains, losses,
doubts, and fears?
4. Who can you bring in close to you to bear pain and walk alongside you?
5. Where are you sensing Emmanuel, God with Us alongside you?
Take Time in Silence
Now take a moment to exhale, to let go and let come, and to receive.
Carry it With You
As you move forward from here, consider returning to your notes as an assist to processing and integrating. Your soul is doing a monumental task. Grieving is hard. Know that you are a work inprocess, accepted and ever-accompanied. You are not alone.
Allow the following song by The Beatles to wash over you:
Even as this time of practice comes to an end, remain open to the continuing unfolding that may follow you.
Please feel free to use the comments section below to share any thoughts, reflections or prayers you have.
Until later in the week....
Go Well and God Bless
John