“Remember, students,” Alpha 247 said, holding up his arms to prevent the students from going further into the museum, “this is a place of great historical value. No touching, no kicking, no licking, and B19, no teleporting of the museum’s pieces. Everyone understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

Class 2 of Year 6 from Central School 30-2 jittered with anticipation.

“Good day,” Guide 092 said, walking up to the class. “Are you ready for the tour?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Remember, students, the items inside are sacrosanct and should be treated as such.” Guide 092 opened the door, and the students filed in a single line.

Oohs and aahs echoed through the exhibit.

“This is the first item in our collection of Human Relics—”

“Sir,” K391 interrupted, “did humans really exist? Beta 932 says they are as imaginary as a tree.”

Guide 092 laughed. “Oh, my yes, humans did exist at one time on our planet. The items in this exhibit were all found buried deep underground by digger units ten years ago. Our researchers have pieced together enough information about humans now to understand their complex culture and significant objects. This collection you are standing in is all holy relics.”

“What does that mean?” B19 asked, holding out his hand and summoning a bag of loonies.

“There is no eating in here, young man,” Guide 092 reminded him, grabbing the bag of candy. “It means that the items you are about to see were worshiped by the humans who once lived here. The objects were their Gods.”

Ohs and wows echoed around the room.

“This first item, according to our research, is called an iPhone and is their God of Social Interaction.”

The class moved from display to display, unable to believe what they were seeing.

“Beta 932’s not going to believe this,” K391 said, looking at the iPhone.

“God of Food,” B19 said, reading the label next to a large metal rectangle with shelves inside. “Wonder what they put in there?”

“Your parental unit?” C22 quipped.

“Guide 092, what’s that?” M83 asked, pointing to an exhibit on the wall.

“Ahh, that,” Guide 092 said, pointing to a grainy photograph of a mushroom cloud. “That is the only known photograph of the God of Ultimate Peace.”