Nov 19, 2021
2 mins read
How often do you come across that notion, as a parent, that you’re always the bad guy? Or that you’ve forgotten something again. Or that you’ve made the wrong choice and your kids are bearing the brunt of it? I don’t know about you, but with me, that can be a daily occurrence.
I work part time for our church. My wife is new into her new job, and is not only full-time, but is all-in since it’s the start of her new career. So, naturally, this places me as the parent who’s at home more, so is a bit more practical with school etc. Now, this may come as a shock to you, but I’m not the most practical or organised person with the logistics of life – any skill I have with this has been learned, but it takes effort - so, forgetting things now and again is normal.
But when my darling daughter’s front tooth came out the other night, what did I do... nothing. I forgot the old switcheroo. The next morning, as you’ll be expecting, she came through to our room looking sad and disappointed. The plot thickens though; the other front tooth fell out the very next evening! But to make things worse, my wife and I had each had a beer with dinner before we realised we were without any cash! Then ensues a hunt through the house for any change, but to no avail.
Thank goodness for some last-minute creativity; her 2 teeth were removed from under her pillow, and a tiny, delicately decorated note was left in their stead – telling her that as the Tooth Fairy, I knew that her other tooth was going to fall out, and that the following day, there would be 2 coins hidden somewhere in the house for her to find (since there were two). Hopefully, we helped her to learn how to manage disappointment with this minor example. A problem-solved, but not exactly the smoothest parenting-rescue!
I think it’s important to be honest with fellow parents about these moments. The truth is for the vast majority of us, at least I hope, that we’re actually all pretty good parents. A lot of instincts come naturally, or grow out of practice. Sometimes, these regular whoopsie moments can make you feel like the worst parent in the world, that you should have known better, or should have been more prepared. While those last 2 may be true, they don’t make you a terrible parent. Being able to be realistic about life happening, can encourage resilience in both you, and in your child. We can’t keep them in bubble wrap, but we can do what we can to protect them from real danger – beyond that, let’s try to encourage a healthy emotional resilience in our kids. We’re all learning together, so don’t suffer from “bad-parent-itis".