A short morning story: I woke up to sip my morning tea while I was thinking of what I would do for the day.
I usually prefer coffee but there was tea ready so like usual human, I skipped the effort.
I was looking outside the balcony through my lazy hazes. Then began my first thought of the day, “Bull shit. Pure bull shit. There are zillions of people in this world, doing zillions of activities, pondering over umpteen things. Some must still be sleeping.”
I then thought of my close knit circle and caught some awareness about their whereabouts, chores and responsibilities. “She gets tired after her office. She then goes to the gym. She gets very tired. I will not bother her today. Anyway, it’s not her job to keep me occupied.” “I won’t call him until afternoon. He’ll think I’m needy and I might just keep going after him.”
And then again, “Bull shit. All this is bull shit.” I sat with my totally repaired and functional guitar this time and tuned the strings.
I opened a video tutorial on how to play the chords of iconic Hindi song, ‘Chand mera dil’. It was the very first song that I ever wanted to learn if could play a guitar. I was really not able to figure out why my ‘E-major’ didn’t sound like the one in the tutorial. I tried but I failed. So I put the guitar back into its case.
I then pondered over a certain something that has disturbing me for the last twenty-nine and a half hours. I felt genuine hatred from someone recently. The hatred was very very real. My specific hater is indeed hoping that I die alone and in pain. I’ve been hated before but for someone to go till a maximum extent of saying, “Fuck off!” or “I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” This time I actually grew a step ahead. I actually made progress. The hater didn’t say that they wouldn’t care if I died which I will one day, but the hater specifically ‘hoped’ that I die alone and in pain. I thought of the impact I must have made to deserve it. The hatred that was coming from the source was fire enough to spread from party A to party B to C. I just found myself a couple more of them.
While I was really thinking of all this and what else to do, something in my head asked me to write. “Write something, let it just be pointless, but write Gaitonde. When you are at your writing, tu hi Brahma hai.” I really can’t explain how I love progress. In anything! I’m a neat writer. I hope it progresses to show the reflection of my soul someday. And then, I thought, “Now that you’ve put that much effort. Go make yourself a coffee. You know you want it.”
Now did I have the coffee after I gave the thought or after I actually wrote this.
I am always in for a coffee. You should buy me one some day. :)
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