Apr 05, 2021
1 mins read
The expectations they had for me felt like a mould which I had a lot of trouble and pain trying to fit in, and the process had been excruciating, in the most gradual and subtle ways.
The summer that I had depression was the breaking point where I started to seek alternatives.
I started by going for a massage, the one with a happy ending, as the first protest to being a good boy. I did drugs with friends, and I was thrilled to experience the feeling of stepping out of the comfort zone and shaking off some labels. I felt that I was capable of carving out a tiny "island," where I could live freely, free from the obligations to please others.
I had only myself to please on this "island." I simply wanted to live just a bit more for myself.
Coming back to Canada, I started seeking opportunities to decide based on what I thought and felt would be the best for me. Instead of taking elective courses that people consider as "useful," I followed my interest and took Psychology, Buddhism, and Philosophy. I dated girls I knew my parents would not approve of. After graduating, I made a shocking decision not to go back to China and participate in the family business. Instead, I worked my way up in a Japanese retail store, where I had my interest piqued. It was a way of telling my family and myself that: "I will do whatever it takes to stay here in Canada."
I knew it was only a stepping stone to live more authentically, and I continuously sought guidance for the next steps.
After more than a year of exploration and introspection, I gradually realized that being a life coach fits nicely with who I am and my core values.