It's Friday, a great time to tell a few dad jokes.

  • Did you hear about the huge furniture store that stocks only footstools and benches? It's called the Ottoman Empire.

  • What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife? Nothing. He was gladiator.

  • At a marathon, police arrested a man for firing a starter's pistol. They believe it is race-related.

  • Why did the man hide all his coins under the bushes? He was starting a hedge fund.

  • Where do you send kids with ADHD during the summer to improve their focus? Concentration camp.

  • What lies on the ground 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede.

  • I decided to take up fencing recently. My neighbor says he will call the police if I don't put it back.