Do you ever find yourself hitting up against the same wall over and over? Circling the same dumb hill?
I don't know what your hill is, but mine is physical energy.
And my frustration is finding time to do all of the things I need to do in a day.
Just 1/2 hour ago, I was talking with my bestie. It had started off with a series of long messages I blasted off to her asking her to pray for wisdom, because I can't keep doing what I'm doing.
Folks, I get up at 4:30 in the morning (and I am sharing that for a specific reason).
Now - there have been seasons when I moved my alarm back - or even shut it off. Seasons when I've been in a crash - when I barely got through my day.
And as soon as I felt better, my alarm would go right back to getting up at 4:30.
As if I couldn't see the pattern.
Well, I could - I just didn't want to acknowledge it.
About 1/2 hour later, I went back and deleted those messages I sent off - because the wisdom came in short order, and I was excitedly sharing with her that God had revealed to me how it would work...and part of this chapter came to mind, "In vain you rise early..."
So, when I was done with my message - I looked it up - and realized that the whole chapter was about me and my current situation.
I get up early to have time to get my work done before my kids get up and we start on school.
But I'm so fatigued from forcing my body into an unnatural schedule that I'm not efficient at all.
In fact, while talking with her, it occurred to me that getting up early was most certainly in vain because it was counterproductive. I was getting less done in more time because the brain fog was so bad and the fatigue so overwhelming, I couldn't get my work done like I normally would.
And the biggest reason why I wanted to get my work done early was so I can spend time with my kids apart from just being their teacher.
But I end up such a zombie, that I don't really get that quality time I'd like.
The Lord wants to build this house, but He has to get me and my type-A, take-charge, take-over, bossy, over-planning self out of the way first!