I had this crazy idea of leaving a hand written note on a bus on going home. Hoping that by that way I can leave that memory along with it. Wishing that whoever found it can say a little prayer for me. I just want to wake up one day not hurting even if I remembered what happened to me. I just wanted to let go of this feeling. Feeling of waiting for an apology that I know will never come. And if so , I know that would make me hurt more. I want to know every answer to my why's but am also afraid of knowing.
I just hope that someday , this world will be a better place for my daughter to live in. That I wouldn't have an anxiety attack whenever she's in a room , with him, and can hear nothing but silence. I just want to forgive , even if he never ask for it. I just want peace of mind. I just want to sleep without having a nightmare of you dad.