[Dec 22, 2017]
I have no picture to accompany this post, so you’ll have to use your imagination...
Poor li’l lady has quite a diaper rash. It’s a combination of her baby teeth fighting their way to day light, and her new found love of Oranges. Regardless of the reason, this child’s bum is as bright as a holly berry. To try and soothe her, we have been giving her some “air time”. After bath and at every change, she is encouraged to prance around in her birthday suit to let the air do its magic.
Then this morning...
MICK - “Uh-oh!!”
ME - (from the other room) “Uh-oh what?”
MICK - “Oh no Mommy!”
ME - “Oh no Mommy what?
ME - “Mick what is it?”
MICK - “oh dear...”
My heart skipped a beat and I had that moment that every parent fears...
‘I only left the room for 2 seconds, is she hurt? Did she swallow something... are all the sockets plugged?’
I flew into my daughter’s room, expecting the worst, only to find my 2 kids sitting on the bedroom floor, amongst a pile of toys and Frankie’s favourite “Big Hugs Elmo” doll...
ME - “Honey, what’s wrong? You scared me...”
Mickey looked up at me like he’d just seen the ghost of Christmas past... I followed his gaze, past the mountain of toys and past Elmo’s familiar shit-eating grin smiling up at me from the floor... and then I saw it... It was perfect. As perfect as that coiled emoji that we’ve come to love and hate... right there...smack dab in the middle of Elmo’s outstretched palm.
MICK - “She...she...she... pooped on Elmo...”
ME - “With perfect precision I’d say...”
MICK - “I’d say too!!”
ELMO - “Can Elmo please have a hug?”
The laughter that followed was a year’s worth of giggles. And that is why there is no photo. I don’t need one. This image will forever be burned in my mind. It’s probably best that I didn’t capture the scene... it may have ended up my Christmas card to all of you for the next 20 years.
I needed a good laugh. Thank you kids.
I want nothing else for Christmas.