My storage is gone and I feel like a horrible person. Talked to both doc 1 & 2 yesterday and doc 2 actually wanted to take me off the happy pill thinking it wasn't helping. Am I supposed to be happy when all this is going on. That wouldn't feel right. That's not who I am. She said I was chattier than usual. Shows you the difference between her & doc 1 who I see weekly. Even nurse C was like "No this is normal Genevieve" lol. Doc 1 knows I'm actually opposite of chatty right now. So I get another month of meds. Going off them could mean nothing or that I'd spiral down further into depression. Last thing I need with the court date for the eviction coming up. Can't believe she even said that after telling her what was going on including my cancer scare. Which no they still haven't said anything about what it could be. I joke it's just a hard lump of fat or I inhaled a Chia seed and I have a Chia pet growing on my ribs. . And everything else will have to be put on hold until I see if I end up homeless or in a shelter which both are terrifying to me. Docs tried to make me promise to go to a shelter. I still rather die tbh. I barely feel like doing anything anymore. I have a mental illness and I got denied something after a physical. Makes no sense. Then another place said to wait to ask for help until I get a new place. An eviction means I can't rent for 4-7 years. What new place... I hate asking for help. And then I do & I get denied over and over. And I wonder what is the point of all this. .. #mentalillness #mylifeismurcuryinretrograde #whatisthislife #healthissues#soontobehomlessartist