Today, someone politely suggested I stop using the word "fuck" in my posts on social media and here for the sake of "being professional" so I figured now is a good time to give you all some insight into why I don't subscribe to the idea of professionalism and what that means for you.

I was raised as a Southern Baptist. If you know anything about Southern Baptists, they are an extremely cultish sect of Christianity. If you don't do things exactly perfectly, you are considered an outsider - and it doesn't matter if the things you are supposed to do are constantly changing. This is a game where the goal posts are constantly changing so no one wins.

I spent the better part of my young life hiding so much of myself, it was a shock to me when I finally learned I wasn't straight in 2019. Honestly, the last three years have been HUGE for my self discovery. I learned that I don't identify with Christianity in any sense. I learned how I truly felt about political issues and other circumstances in real life, without the outside influence of other people pushing me towards things reflecting their own paradigms and not mine. I ignored things that resonated with me because there was always someone breathing down my neck to stop me from exploring it because it wasn't "godly" enough.

From 2016 to 2019, I worked as an intern for a multimillionaire network marketer. This job required me to be professional CONSTANTLY. If you know anything about working in network marketing, you know you are never not working and everyone is considered a potential client.

This wasn't who I was, but I was pushed towards working with this woman because it was seen as an opportunity I couldn't pass up. And while yes, I did learn so many valuable tools and things to give me a foot up in my own businesses, it did not reflect who I was in my core. I thought I was happy with the mask, but I learned I wasn't as time passed. I was tired of the constant censorship and restriction. The requirements to fit into every box and be whatever anyone wants to see at any given time. To be always agreeable. To never take up space and to only be a person that makes sales, and not just a person.

This is not who I am. This is not who anyone should try to be. If you are hiding your true self for sales you will never be sustainably successful. Why? Because you will never be able to flawlessly keep the mask on. One day, somehow, you will slip up. You will get sick. You will get tired. You will have a rough day, week, month, or year. And the longer you wear the mask, the more cracks it will get in it.

No one can sustain something fake forever. Every facade will fall, it's only a matter of time.

So how do you build something sustainable and remain professional?

Here's the key. You don't.

I REFUSE to censor myself to make people comfortable. In fact, when you read my work, you will find most of it is intended to make people very uncomfortable. My goal when I write is simple: To comfort the afflicted and afflict the comforted.

So if fuck makes you uncomfortable, good. If hearing me talk about real things that have happened to me in my lifetime makes you uncomfortable, even better. If you don't like how I say something, perfect.

I say fuck because it's a part of who I am. It's part of my personal branding and marketing. If you don't like it then it isn't for you.

I spent the majority of my life being told who I was meant to be, what I could and couldn't say or do, and how I was. I don't fuck with that bullshit anymore. I am becoming myself and who I want to be - the life I live and how I choose to do so is not for anyone but myself. You get the PRIVILEGE - yes, it is not a right but a privilege - of being here to watch.

NOBODY is entitled to anything from me. You aren't entitled to nice responses from me. You aren't entitled to my good energy. You aren't entitled to feel any certain way about who I am and what I have to say. I CHOOSE to give those things to you and I can choose to take them away whenever I like because those things are a gift to you. NOT A RIGHT.

I am here for myself. I'm here for you too, but not the way you want me to be - in the way I am able to be. As myself. I refuse to be someone or something I am not to appease people.

Fuck that bullshit.

I am the queen of don't give a fuck. Don't fuck with me.