I’m trying to figure something out to do with this blog. I don’t want it to just be me venting about shit. That’s boring. And I don’t want it to be just an absolute mindfuck of an experience. But then again, that’s kind of my truth.

Anne said something the other day that resonated with me about not coming to terms with the fact that I’m a messy goblin of a human being.

And that’s okay.

My brain works differently than other peoples. It sometimes doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do. Sometimes it does more than it’s supposed to (& that can get real exhausting, real quick!)

I will figure out what to do with this blog. Anne says I should just keep writing on here and see what comes out. I know it helps me when I have a safe space to come vent.

It sometimes doesn’t feel like I have anywhere safe though. My family kind of stole that from me. Or atleast it feels like it.

I don’t think they understand how hard it is to exist in a world when you’re someone like me. It’s exhausting. I have to constantly fight for a space to exist. I know I shouldn’t complain. Obviously POC & other minorities have it a lot worse than I do. I don’t want to take away from their struggles. Im just stating how I feel.

I started this blog as a place to come and just air it all out. Because I want to be honest and authentic. Even if it means being messy.

I’m a messy person. And that’s totally valid.

fin.