May 10, 2022
How am I feeling? Disgustingly neutral. Just plain old average. Bored. I feel emotionless. I cried this morning but it wasnāt the kind of cry that diverges from deep inside your chest. It was a dry, desert cry.
Mar 30, 2022
I want to escape into the world of The Magicians forever. Some might say Iām an addict. My drug of choice is fiction. Stories in any form. Thatās what I love. I love disappearing into another world entirely and seeing through the eyes of someone else.I donāt read as much as I used to. Iāve started to again though. I have one season left of The Magicians on Netflix and my parents booted me out of their account (which fair enough, itās about time I get my own... more
Mar 29, 2022
ā¤ļøāš©¹Trigger Warning: Suicidal Ideationā¤ļøāš©¹~~~~~Sometimes I want to die. Thatās the truth. I wonder if that will forever be a reality of mine.Iām worried my fatal flaw is caring too much. Or not enough. And nothing in between.I canāt seem to get a sturdy grip on reality. It seems life is constantly slipping through my fingers like quicksand. Iāve been watching Euphoria and itās been shocking to see how much I have in common with the main... more
Mar 21, 2022
Iām trying to figure something out to do with this blog. I donāt want it to just be me venting about shit. Thatās boring. And I donāt want it to be just an absolute mindfuck of an experience. But then again, thatās kind of my truth. Anne said something the other day that resonated with me about not coming to terms with the fact that Iām a messy goblin of a human being. And thatās okay. My brain works differently than other peoples. It sometimes... more
Mar 16, 2022
Sometimes I donāt think I was meant for this world. Iām 28 and I still believe in magic. I wish I didnāt. Having no hope would probably be easier. But as long as music, art, fashion and the likes exist, I have hope that things will be better.I have to admit. Things are looking pretty grim though. With World War 3 around the corner, I worry I wonāt have a chance to accomplish all of my dreams. I worry Iām not real sometimes. Like, Iām make believe.I want to be... more