I'm Maria. You may know me better as "Cleavage Crumbs."

Care to buy me a coffee, a beer . . . a fuzzy nipple?

Yes, I create funny crap on Twitter and other online hell holes. It is by no means easy work. The amount of supermarket-brand vodka required to stimulate my brain cells to allow "the funny" to flow freely is staggering.

That is why your patronage is so eagerly petitioned and so earnestly appreciated when it is received.

By choosing either the $3, $6, or $9 per month contribution tier, you will be letting me know that my effort in putting a smile on your face is working.

You can also opt for the one-time donation option by choosing the "support" tab instead of "membership."

Either way, on behalf of myself and my cat (the furry bastard who takes 15 percent off the top of everything that I earn), we thank you.