We live in an age of over-sharing. In being exposed to even the smallest details of other people's lives, there is also an increase in points of comparison.
That breakfast spread would be great right now but all I have is butter and toast. How do they manage to keep their journaling habit so consistent? That joke was hilarious. I could've written that tweet myself. That tattoo looks amazing. I wish I didn't have a fear of needles. That makeup look makes their hazel eyes pop. Would it do the same thing to my brown ones?
Envy is a natural human emotion. Perhaps it's something we evolved to feel as we contemplate fairness in our ever-complicating social order. In our era of meta modernity, as capitalism promotes overconsumption more and more of us consequently get consumed by jealousy.
It's not just material objects that we want all for ourselves. We are in the "I buy therefore I am" stage of capitalism. We also covet the personality associated with the possession of these objects. We feel that in our attempts to collect the same material possessions in their close proximity, we would also be able to projects that we are of the same level.
"2 Baddies, 1 Porsche" by NCT 127, "Versace on the Floor" by Bruno Mars, "Gucci Gang" by Lil Pump, these are only a few titles in recent pop culture that flaunt brands that are status symbols to signal affluence, importance, and success.
Because it's much harder to guarantee all the extra zeros at the end of your bank account to secure those three aforementioned aspirations, you substitute them with the symbols. After all a Calcifer Loewe scarf is more within you arm's reach (and by that I mean possibly having to lose an arm and maybe a leg too to get one).
"Yeah, but designer brands aren't really my thing."
It doesn't mean other brands aren't using your insecurities to take advantage of you. The collaborations with your beloved childhood cartoon characters that you badly wished to be your best friend, the interior design trinkets that looked like they jumped straight out of your Pinterest boards, the new iPhone model that serendipitously announced a color way that's been your favorite shade of purple for a while now all seem to be a coincidence working in favor of your taste. But I can assure you, it isn't.
One of the first few things a business does when making marketing campaigns is defining a clear target market. They exposit their chosen persona down to their purchasing patterns, discernible behaviors, and persistent aspirations. The game has always been a matter of trying to wedge whatever they're selling into your lifestyle in a way that you wouldn't be wary of. The best ads are always the ones that aren't recognizable as ads.
The role of marketing is to create symbolic value for commodities. The more socially desirable they make their consumers, the better job they're doing. As mindless, impulsive, and irrational you may consider consumption to be, it's a very complicated symbolic system.
In the book "The Shopping Experience", the act of shopping is described as an opportunity to acquire a sense of identity. In times of troubling uncertainty, it may feel like an attempt to regain control over a part of your life that's within your power to change. Why else would retail therapy be such a pervasive phenomenon even when we're at the brink of economic collapse?
We've evolved into cultural omnivores as we're bombarded by tastes of different socio-economic classes, countries of origin, and moral codes. Culture shapes habits, preferences, and most importantly, identity.
Trying to reconcile all of the things that you want to be a part of who you are is a more daunting task today than it was a hundred years ago. There is bound to conflicting ideas in there somewhere and that produces a resounding cognitive dissonance many aren't willing to admit they possess.
The irony is that the plethora of options out there has only weakened the sense of self as the social context has transcended your physical surroundings.
If anything, the most coveted thing of all is a coherent, trustworthy, and consistent personal brand. That's because it signals a strong sense of personal identity amidst the chaos of information overload.
While I recognize that identities aren't created in isolation, trying to pattern yours over someone that you want to switch places with isn't going to give you the satisfaction that you think it will.
There is a danger to commodifying personalities and reducing them to their superficial characteristics. Dressing similarly, engaging in identical hobbies, and mimicking speech patterns isn't necessarily going to award you the same attention, privilege, and experiences.
There is no harm in reinterpreting multiple influences into a expression of yourself. There is, however, in shadowing someone in their every move. Individual experiences can be relatable but that doesn't mean they're universal.
All you'll end up being is the human equivalent of a counterfeit that upon closer inspection will always be hastily constructed, constitutionally inferior, and valued less than the original.
Do yourself a favor and take a good long look at yourself in the mirror. Are you happy with who's staring back? Or are you frustrated that it isn't who you want to be? How far away is your reflection from the version you present yourself to be when your black mirror is on?
Only you would know the answer to these questions. It's beyond me what you choose to do with that information. But I do hope that you know what's best for you, the you you didn't covet from someone you envy.