I’ve been thinking about disappointment a lot lately. The feeling hits you like a boat in a Hurricane; whipping you side to side, feeling as if it will never cease. It does of course but not without some damage. It’s like failure in a way. Though, failure is easy to get over, imo.
I remember in high school, I used to love planning. It was my jam. Until New Year’s Eve 2002, I believe (woah, that hits like a knife). A friend had decided she was going to throw a NYE party. Me and my girls were excited to kick it. She had invited mad people aaannd no one showed up. It was just our group hanging out looking cute with no one to look cute for but ourselves. I was beyond disappointed. Looking back, we should have just enjoyed each other’s company and not be worried about whether or not people showed up. My disappointment came because I rarely got to hang out with my friends in high school. I was away on weekends, going to debate tournaments. I wanted something exciting to change up the monatiny. In that moment, when no one showed up but us, I decided that I was no longer going to live by planning. I embraced the expect the unexpected and going with the flow. Once I did that, life became way more fun. However, I’m back to needing plans (probably due to my anxiety). I feel like I live in a constant state of disappointment; nothing going right and never getting what I want. I know things happen for a reason but it feels like it’s been this way for far too long.
I don’t really have anything positive to say about dealing with it. It’s a part of life that you have to get through. Eventually, there will be a change and you’ll realize why it happened. Just know, I’m here to listen and we’ll get through it together.