absolutely amazing! im so incredibly grateful for Dizz like <3 <3 <3 LOTS OF KISSES! some other news: i've been super blocked with writing lately. in part because i have applications to write and i'm stressed out about that, but mostly because i'm writing the part of the story where sanzu is actually having a good time? how do people write FLUFF??? i can write smut, i can write angst, i can wrist angsty smut--but these fuckers are killing me with their happiness and joy like...
i feel so bad for my readers because i promised to upload a chapter this past weekend and then i didn't. i'll post something soon! i just need to stay calm and write. bird by bird. (word by word.)
oh, i also switched all my links from this page to my tumblr. i didn't really want to do that, but someone commented saying that ao3 might delete all my stuff and ban me?? YIKES! so, i redownloaded tumblr b/c i don't understand twitter and insta seems like out of the question, and my tumblr hasn't been seriously active for about five years so this is WEIRD for me, and then i had to sort through all my posts and take down any of the ones that were super cringey or super personal.
one thing that was eye opening about the experience is that i've seriously changed in the last five years. it's honestly wonderful to look at posts from a younger me who is just shouting at an endless screen that won't reply, only for me, an older version, to come back and say 'look. u will still have the same interests, will still be the same person u once were. but u won't be so hurt by it anymore. u are beautiful. u are heard. u are me and i love you.' idk, it's very interesting because i've always been an insecure person.
it's also just wild to me that my tumblr might now actually serve a purpose? it was so frustrating just existing in a box without others to speak to, but now i might have more engagement? idk. i'm not interested in fame like i used to (i don't understand what teenage me thought would happen on tumblr but go off i guess) but i still want that comfort of conversation and exchange. that's why i love ao3 so much and commenters. my earliest fics were ones where no one talked to me, usually for dead fandoms and dead ships, but now i've found places where i'm more likely to get engagement AND where i want to write as well.
i dunno. hope this makes sense. anyway! post again soon xoxo