Originally Posted by Custody Peace on Medium February 6, 2022
As the world’s headlines are overcome with stories about Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, Custody Peace would like to take a minute to educate the world on what is actually happening.
From an outsider’s perspective, what’s happening looks like a petty custody battle. Many reporters have labeled it a squabble, a family feud, and even a fight. What is actually playing out is called Post-Separation Abuse (PSA), and it’s dangerous.
Post-Separation Abuse is not funny and should not be normalized or taken lightly. It is dangerous for all involved, especially the children. It only takes one to create this type of immense destructive conflict.
To sensationalize this behavior is sensationalizing abuse.
“After the relationship ends, the perpetrator sets their sights on the child(ren) to exert control and, to terrorize the healthy parent. Most every so-called “high-conflict custody battle” has three basic narratives: the abuser’s need for control, the abuser’s need to “win” and, the abuser’s desire to hurt or punish the healthy parent.” — Tina Swithin, One Mom’s Battle on Post-Separation Abuse
Mr. West is attempting to paint himself as a victim and as an alienated father. He is weaponizing his children to avoid accountability and is successfully gaining sympathy from the public. These tactics are common amongst abusers in the form of DARVO. DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.
“The perpetrator or offender may Deny the behavior, Attack the individual doing the confronting, and Reverse the roles of Victim and Offender such that the perpetrator assumes the victim role and turns the true victim into an alleged offender. This occurs, for instance, when an actually guilty perpetrator assumes the role of “falsely accused” and attacks the accuser’s credibility and blames the accuser of being the perpetrator of a false accusation.” (Source: Jennifer J. Freyd, PhD)
It is time the public learn more about this epidemic of violence facing women and children all over the world. Understanding how PAS and DARVO play out in relationships will help people who are currently facing these realities, including Kim Kardashian.
Mr. West is claiming his children are being kept from him which is a go-to in the Post-Separation handbook, often referred to as alienation. Mr. West has seemingly always been separated from his children living elsewhere, while Ms. Kardashian has consistently positioned herself as the children’s primary caretaker and provider. Since she filed for divorce, however, Mr. West has leveraged the children and forcefully tried to reunite with Ms. Kardashian.
This is unacceptable and worrisome.
See: Alienation Allegations or Alienation Distraction Tactics or Alienation Cross-claims. “Alienation claims lodged against the safe parent as a legal strategy to cast doubt on their credibility.” — www.postseparationabuse.com
Custody Peace has addressed Mr. West’s increasingly troubling behavior and predicted his escalations months ago based on his behaviors which are in line with Post-Separation Abuse.
Those who engage in Post-Separation Abuse follow the same script and commit abuse in very similar ways, and the negative impacts that PSA has on children are undeniable.
Dr. Karen Williams, a Consultant Psychiatrist specializing in trauma, who recently presented to the NSW Select Committee into Coercive Control in Australia, states, “It is a myth that an abuser can be a good or even average father whilst abusing the mother of the children. Abusive partners/husbands are abusive fathers. It is really that simple. Children rely on their parents for a sense of safety, when that safety is compromised — when a father attacks the person who is protecting them, whether it’s physically, emotionally or financially, then inevitably the child will lose that sense of security. Just like being in a boat, which has a hole in it, the child realizes that they are no longer safe if the mother is not safe. This is not just intuitive, this has been backed up by the evidence over and over again. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) lists family violence, witnessing family violence as traumatic experiences. Children who have witnessed abuse experience higher levels of learning disorders, mental illness, obesity, substance abuse, as well as higher levels of criminal behavior themselves and lifelong history of disadvantage. The fact that this is overlooked by the family law court, time and time again in family courtrooms throughout the globe is one of the greatest examples of government-sanctioned abuse that we are witnessing in our time.”
We have never publicly stated that we fear for Ms. Kardashian’s safety but the time has come. Ms. Kardashian is at risk and so are her children. What’s particularly concerning is that Mr. West is surrounded by abusers in his circle who support and condone his behavior. If we look at his Instagram comments, his behavior is not only celebrated but encouraged. He seems as though he can not be reasoned with or mitigated.
May this serve as a reminder: no amount of fame, money, or resources can protect you from Post-Separation Abuse. Our complacent Family Court system burdens even the most wealthy and powerful in our Nation. We are not confident Ms. Kardashian can get additional protections at this time, particularly since Mr. West refuses to answer her court petitions.
We are wishing Ms. Kardashian and her family safety. We hope our concerns are misplaced and we hope that she is protected, particularly since people in her inner circle continue to reveal both her location and contact information.
This is a dangerous situation.
Some of you may be wondering why we have repeatedly “called out” Mr. West by highlighting how he has engaged in Post-Separation Abuse.
We have done so because we believe that this is a public example of how this type of abuse plays out. We also believe that this type of abuse can only be mitigated by being addressed, honestly and openly. We believe that we can address the cultural messaging that is a motivating force behind PSA.
By addressing and holding perpetrators of Post-Separation Abuse accountable, both culturally and within our legal system, maybe fathers like him can learn that their conduct directly results in the women and children around them fearing them. And maybe then, we can see a cultural shift that elevates, values, and promotes healthy parent-child and co-parenting relationships; and in turn, creates a future where everyone is truly free from the utter nightmare of Post-Separation Abuse.
We hope that those who identify with Mr. West can see his approach for what it is and refrain from engaging in the same or similar behaviors.
We are envisioning something safer, healthier, and collaborative for all children of separated/divorced parents and the Kardashian-West children as well.
Custody Peace
Advocacy to establish child safety as top priority in custody cases & accountability for Post-Separation Abuse & Coercive Control worldwide.