As we reach 25K folks on Instagram (where it all started), here’s a brief look back, how we’re evolving, and a moment of gratitude to all who have traveled this journey with us.
Custody Peace was born out of a moment ―“this can’t be real.”
Years ago, we started to pull back the curtains of the Family Court System and as we spoke to advocates around the globe (there were only a few at that time), we realized “oh, this is a thing.”
In 2020, we decided to create a simple Instagram account to start posting some truths to see if anyone else was experiencing what we were seeing at a systemic level.
Turns out ― they were.
We still remember when we learned about the insidious nature of how the made-up concept of ‘parental alienation’ (created in the 1980’s as a legal weapon to protect abusive fathers and punish mothers attempting to hold them accountable and protect their children) we reached out to an advocate in another country who said, “stay away from that topic, you’ll get attacked― it’s dangerous.”
We thought, ‘how are we ever going to get people to understand this’, let alone do anything about it? ―Then we found Tina Swithin, and many of you know how that turned out ― she wasn’t afraid.
We remember being told at one point, to “never use the word patriarchy if you want anyone to listen to you” ―we didn’t listen to this advice.
We remember the first time we learned about coercive control and DARVO again, realizing ―“oh, this is a thing.” We literally stumbled upon the live testimony of Dr. Karen Williams in NSW Australia in the attempts to criminalize coercive control and was mesmerized by the truth she was speaking. This was the moment our commitment to raise awareness around coercive control was solidified, as well as our dedication to provide survivors with the language to describe what’s happening to them, so that they may realize their shared experiences.
We remember first learning about for-profit reunification camps and how children were being court-ordered to be taken by force off of school buses and their warm beds in the middle of the night to be “reunited” with their abusive parent. Children as young as 7-years old were forced to engage in unregulated, abusive programs — aka “camps” (that costs $50K+) in shady hotel rooms in Los Angeles, California (and in every state across the U.S. and Internationally) and forbidden to contact their safe parent, friends or family. Once again, ―“this can’t be real.”
As we have continued to pull back the layers and layers of curtains over the years, it has lead us to connections (and now, some of our dearest friends) and collaborations with fellow human rights activists, advocates, journalists, parents, legislators and experts from around the globe.
We have since passed laws together, worked to successfully ban reunification camps in California, made complaints to the United Nations (with Movement of Mothers and One Mom’s Battle), the UN has since recommended that the use of claims of “parental alienation” be BANNED, ―and we have been posting every day since to ensure that there is a place where survivors can come at any time to have their experiences, as well as their children’s experiences validated― and most importantly, to feel seen, and of course, to be reminded, you are not alone.
As we continue to pull back the curtains of our world, we are going through a similar brutal awakening that we did when we first learned about the atrocities of our global family court system. Back to ―“this can’t be real.”
We are realizing each day just how interdependent everything really is and how on a micro (family violence) and macro level (institutional violence), the tactics and patterns of abusers/oppressors are the same.
They are rooted in the need for domination (coercive control) and a goal to separate their victims from truth, health, care, support, family, land, culture, resources and from oneself.
In both cases, systems are weaponized, DARVO tactics are almost always present (to control the narrative) and in far too many cases, the deliberate harm of children is the clear intention.
Our goal is to continue to bear witness to the experiences of survivors (now, with a broader view) throughout the globe, to ensure that they feel seen and their experiences are validated, and that broader awareness continues to build.
Our vision is that one day soon, the destructive cycles of violence are replaced with natural cycles of health, healing and regeneration in our homes, communities and planet.
To everyone who has walked this journey with us and to those beautiful souls who have supported us ― it’s been an honor to collectively face these truths, to heal alongside you and to continue to cultivate a world where the wellbeing of children comes first in every decision we collectively make.
We extend our deepest gratitude for being here and wish you and your family the protection, justice and peace that every family on this planet deserves.
With much love,
💜 CP