Apr 13, 2022

What is this crap?

Well, this is a place for me to be me. To be open and honest and thoughtful. To document the intricacies of life, existence, and being. I think life can be ugly. More ugly for some than others of course. The ugliness of existence presses my heart hard. It makes life dark for me. I began to see things in black and white. I began to despise tomorrow. I had no real reason to hate being alive, I just did. I think it is because I felt like I was on a blind sprint toward death. I am sure we will... more

Aug 30, 2022

This shit is hard

As I write this, I am in the new room of my house. Half set up. Crying. This is fucking hard. To be frank. Every single day these last two weeks I have wanted to quit. Its unlike anything I have ever experienced. Bodybuilding is the ultimate adversary. You can never win. The harder you lean into it- the harder it leans back. The more you give- the more it gives back. This first show has been a true learning experience. I have a new respect for it. The true form of bodybuilding.We are at war... more

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Jun 28, 2022

27 June 109 Days out

Apr 19, 2022

Some Random Ramble.

I’m sitting in my car listening to a song I have had on repeat lately. It talks about how we judge each other based on a picture and how we think we know each other cuz we “double tap on a picture.”One side of the coin is we judge each other's social media. We all do it. I’m guilty of it. I try to see reality but it’s hard. I KNOW we are all guilty of it. So let’s all take a step back from comparing our lives to people's perfect representation of... more

Apr 16, 2022

What makes you happy?

I was today years old when I realized that writing is something I that distracts me from the world and I can actually stay focused on it. Everything else, my mind shoots around like I have ADHD. I can NEVER focus because my mind always goes to things like... "I'm literally just a series of chemical reactions.." and "how does caffeine work" and literally, today when I was trying to get some things done "even if we forget about how the world came to the existence or... more

Apr 16, 2022

Against the Grain 16 April

I had a blog half-written on the 14th, but it got deleted because my laptop died. Oh well.So, what's up?Yesterday I smashed hammies and glutes. It was very subpar in the beginning. Then I dug in and got dialed in. Turned out okay. Food has been hard to eat. I'm already bored. I will have to spend some time thinking about what might help. I think I have an idea. If it works, I'll post it in the member's channel.Something I have been thinking about today: each action leads you... more

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Apr 13, 2022

What am I eating?
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Against the Grain 16 April
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What makes you happy?
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Welcome. 12 APRIL 2022
12 April Lift
What is this crap?