As I write this, I am in the new room of my house. Half set up. Crying.

This is fucking hard. To be frank. Every single day these last two weeks I have wanted to quit. Its unlike anything I have ever experienced. Bodybuilding is the ultimate adversary.

You can never win. The harder you lean into it- the harder it leans back. The more you give- the more it gives back. This first show has been a true learning experience. I have a new respect for it. The true form of bodybuilding.

We are at war with the vary natures of existence. Hunger. Thirst. Pain. Tiredness. All through the will of our mind do we overcome it. That is all.

I no longer want anything other than bodybuilding; I just want to live this. At peace. Inspire and chase my dreams.

I gotta go cook and do cardio.