Every creation starts with an idea. Every lifestyle starts with a dream. Every journey starts with a first step. Well, there have been many first steps, many dreams, and many ideas lately. I have no choice but to pursue this with the entirety of my being. I think life kinda sucks sometimes. Not like earthly existence. I am plenty comfortable. More like the existential existence. Like why walk the earth? Why be here? Why wake up tomorrow? Why pursue anything? Why not just lay in bed all day, watch porn, do drugs, play video games, eat junk food, and skirt by on other people's efforts? Why... Be? On top of that, why Be GOOD? I am no expert in anything. Like literally. I'm an average student. Average thinker. Average athlete. Everything I have been successful in has been from effort and discipline. So why be here? Why listen to me? Well because you can watch me fail and laugh at me. You can creep on me and make fun of me. Bring it. I do not care because I am chasing happiness. Genuine happiness in my own skin and my own existence. BUT... On the off chance, my average ass accomplishes anything worth shaking a stick at, you can say you know why. You can believe it is possible for average to become something. You can realize that truly, you can become anything you commit yourself to. You do control your life.

You can either see in 4k why it is not worth it. That that the dream is over. It is a thing of the past and you should just submit to the rat race. Or you will see that this isn't a simulation. A nobody here from the middle of nowhere created something from nothing. Not alone. Not by any means alone. But it is possible.

All I want is to wake up someday and fewer people kill themselves. Less people fall asleep hating what they are going to wake up to. Fewer people are numb to each breath they take. Fewer people hate what they are surrounded by. I just want people to want to live.... because I want to want to live.

I will use this platform to live through. To journal through. In hopes that someday I can look back on this and remember. Enjoy memories. Learn from mistakes. Hopefully inspire. Hopefully, heal. Hopefully, grow. Hopefully, creating a community of people who also want to see life be better. This is my outlet and as NF wrote, "this is a therapy for me."