Pride is not actually inherently better than shame. Both have a "shadow" side.
Excess pride is actually covert/ repressed shame in action. If you think of someone who has too much pride (like white pride nationalists, or me), they can tend to be rigid, lack flexibility, and have a hard time taking feedback from others, or asking for help. Too much pride can come off as arrogance, self-righteous judgment, and a sign of inferiority complex.
Like shame, pride too can get in the way of our interpersonal relationships. It can move us maladaptively. Keep us stuck. Pull us into control dynamics, projection, and pettiness. Someone with too much pride can kill others justifiably (think, the KKK). Same as with shame. The ego loves both of these emotions so much, especially when they accumulate in excess.
Excess pride, like excess shame, is counterproductive. Too much of anything can run its risks. And before you know it, we're separated and divided. (For many other reasons of course). Going forward, I invite you to consider the role of emotions in relationship breakdown.
More to come on the topic.
Photo Cred: Dorothy Attakora-Gyan
Image Description: A Black woman with an afro sits in a Black bra and Kente mermaid skirt.