Jul 12, 2021
2 mins read
Sometimes that Monday Morning Coffee hits you with some universal knowledge that makes everything digestible.
Today wasn't that day.
It was a dumpster fire, a combination of emotional embrace and holding space to witness the stories that were attempting to convince my peace that I was a worthless piece of garbage, full of shame, remorse and constant questioning of who I was.
But those are the stories, they're fables the fear tells our true self about how we can protect ourselves from emotional hurt and reliving the same pain again.
Perhaps the message that came through for me today will also hit home for you.
There was a period of time that I wrestled my fear, attempted to call it a b*tch, told it to properly f*$# itself right into the streets with it's finest boots and kick rocks.
It worked, kind of.
Really it never allowed the anger or frustration that was manifesting from a version of myself, I was too afraid of becoming again, to be witnessed the way he was begging to be seen.
It only pressured the fear into a deeper level of suppression another transformation instead of integration. Passing the torch of victimhood to the next in line instead of bearing the heat of the truth.
Today I wrote this down:
"Fear enhances focus and our biology tells us the fear is dangerous. But what if we accepted the reality of things, that fear is an illumination of the path inward to our truth. That if we embraced the fear, instead of running from it, we would not be met not with an enemy but a friend that simply was asking for a dance, not a fight."
Perhaps as I did, you might find comfort in asking the fear, which is simply a version of ourselves we shammed into suppression, to dance, instead of fight.
To create a depth of connection that lets you hold space for it to be witnessed without attaching meaning or significance to it, listening to connect, not to correct.
It gave me a tremendous amount of comfort to sit quietly in the silence of my fear, fully to witness it but know that I was no longer labeling it as bad, but embraced its truth.
As I did that, I felt a lightness overcome my body and in that moment it all made sense.
Perhaps this will help you know it's alright too.