El Kentaro
81 supporters
Annoying nap dream

Annoying nap dream

Feb 21, 2022

[ Dark outside, strong rain is hitting against the window.The city below glows from the buildings lights.]

So I'm in an airbnb in some high rise in an unknown city. It a gloomy rainy day outside, I can see from the window

The wind is blowing the rain hard against the window. The doorbell rings and its a delivery guy bringing me a package that I ordered. I go back to the couch in the living room and I open the package. Its a black MA-1 bomber jacket. Its suppose to be made from a new type of fabric that automatically adjust to the temperature outside so I'm always confortable. I try the jacket on in front of the mirror, its a bit tight but I can live with it.

I decide to give the jacket a try outside, to be sure I take off my shirt and I only wear the jacket over my naked torso.

I step into the elevalor and head to the first floor to exit the high rise. I figure I grab a smoke outside with the jacket.

[The building has a large entrance hall in the middle is a security booth. The security guard sits there checking the monitors. ]

I pass by the female security guard in the security booth and give her a small nod.

me: "just gonna grab a smoke"

security guard: "Ok."

I exit the building and step into the cold rain.

[ The city neon lights reflect off the wet pavement. Rain is blowing sideways]

I move to the side of the building where the smokers hang out. The jacket heats up and I'm nice and warm.

I smoke a cigarette and decide to go back into the building.

[The building entrance is all floor to ceiling glass,with glass doors.]

As I enter the building the security guard asks me for my room key and ID. I stick my hands in my pant's pockets and realize I have the room key but no ID.

me: "Damn, sorry I have my key but I left my ID in my room"

security guard: "I need you to come over here and interview you"

me:"you just saw me exit this building, is an interview really necessary?".

security guard looks apologetic to me and says "I'm sorry, I know this sounds stupid but yes I must do a formal interview with you since you don't have an ID on you."

I'm annoyed but I also understand procedure so I slide hesitantly into a small desk and chair booth right by the security booth.

[The interview booth is surrounded with low partitions seperating it from the rest of the entrance area.]

I sit down on the chair.

The security guard comes out of her usuall position and sits across the desk to face me.

me:"I have my room key, here. " I grab my room key out of my pockets and lay it on the desk.

security guard:"What the room number?"

me:"its 6004"

security guard:" Are you XXXXX XXXX ?"

me: "No, me and my friends rented it this week for the conference."

Apparantly I'm there to attend a con.

security guard:"The building doesn't allow private renting of its rooms."

me:"I didn't know,besides thats not my problem. Thats between you and the person who owns/rents the room"

security guard: "True. We will check on that."

security guard:"Why did you step outside without any ID?"

me:"I just stepped outside to smoke. I told you this when I stepped out"

security guard:"oh yea, I remember. But why don't you have any ID?"

me:"I told you, its not that I don't have any ID. I said its up in the room."

security guard:"But technically you are not suppose to be in the room so its like you don't have any ID."

me:"What kind of idiotic logic is that??!"

my voice is now getting louder.

security guard:"I know this sounds ridiculous but thats the rules."

me:"Your policy making should hire some actual people who can think."

I hear a large commotion coming from the entrance.

[ A gang of very colorfully dressed people are walking in. Lots of LEDs are blinking. I see its my hacker family, everyone you can think of is in this crowd. They spot me in the interview booth.]

@pukingmonkey comes over

@pukingmonkey: "you ok? what you do?"

security guard: "we are having a security interview. He doesn't have any ID"

me: "I have ID . just not on me, its my room!"

security guard: "I know."

@unspecific comes over.

me:"Tell her who I am."

@unspecific: "Uhmm.. you are @elkentaro"

security guard: "we know."

me:"so what's the problem?"

By now my whole hacker fam has surrounded the booth.

security guard:"You don't have an ID."

me:"I HAVE ID, JUST NOT ON ME."

security guard apologetically.

security guard:"I know. but this is the procedural answer"

security guard:"I'll make an exception since everyone here says you are @elkentaro. But I have one more question.."

me grunts.

me: "fine go ahead.."

security guard:"why did you feel like you where when it was?"

me:"huh?"

security guard:"why did you feel like you where when it was?"

me:"Thats a bad question. First it doesn't make any sense,even if it did, what the fuck does that have to do with me in my current situation??"

security guard:"I don't know, I'm just folllowing the manual."

me:"Ok so what if I asked : How do you think chocolate icecream feels when?"

security guard:"huh?"

me:"EXCACTLY!!! the question is in a form of a question but it isn't structured in a cohesive sentence!!"

@pukingmonkey:"Actually , I think that icecream...

me:"Shutup monkey, not helping!!"

@unspecific: "But why is the chocolate....."

me:"NOT THE POINT!"

Someone in the back screams:

"I'm hungry now. BURGER RUN!!!"

The crowd goes wild.

me looking at the security guard:

me: "look I understand you have to do this , but isn't there a part of you that questions the procedure??"

security guard: "Yea, I do question it every day."

me: "Thank you , I was losing hope there for a second."

[The crowd is now on the move toward the large meeting room on the same floor toward the deep left end.]

security guard:"I hope you and your friends have a great conference."

me:"Me too, thank you. I'm going upstairs and change my clothes and grab my ID...just in case."

security guard:"You don't have an ID...."

and I wake up.

Enjoy this post?

Buy El Kentaro a coffee

More from El Kentaro