"They've got it so easy, just look at them."
The world has set some very unrealistic expectations and ways of thinking in place. It is past time to speak out and change these. It starts at home, in our thoughts and in our hearts. Today I want to take a moment to speak on beauty.
I've heard it said so many times, but if looks were everything most of us wouldn't have a worry in the world. Yet we do. Looks have become the begining, middle and end to marking standards. It shouldn't be but it is. I understand the whole pleasing to the eyes. But it has become a standard for everything and that my friends is sad. Looks are something we can't fully control and at times take liberties with. Naturally, our bodies are ever changing and through time and advancements we have learned ways to manipulate ones looks. People automatically think 'pretty people' have it easy. But ask anyone that has used advancements to acheive beauty, Did life get easier all around? The answer is still going to be no. Every lot in life comes with its own set of challenges. Plus, life comes at everyone in unexpected ways no matter your social, financial or physcial status. Outer beauty comes with its own challenges, let's explore a few.
Everyone Hates Me:
Some get down on themselves saying, "NO ONE LIKES ME. If I were prettier I would have more friends."
Ok, try having everyone like you and being an empath. Imagine having to sift through every interaction to fully interput the intentions coming at you before you can allow yourself to let it flow or let it go. I can't speak for everyone, but for myself, It's exhaugsting, to say the least. I've been a lone-wolf my whole life. So whether I'm in a relationship or not I have a full agenda. Meeting new people is actually very nerve wrecking for me because my guard is so high and my tolerance for bullshit is so low. And worrying about the genuineness of every interaction coming at me is very time consuming. It's hard for a lot of people to understand that don't operate in this way to truly get it...but sometimes it is easier to be alone. To you all that feel you are in lone-wolf country and don't like it. Know that I am pulling for your comfort zones to widen. Lone-wolf isn't a bad place to be. And you aren't as alone as your thoughts tell you. There is someone out there that needs you. Stop telling yourself you don't matter, that you aren't pretty enough(that is a lie the world has fed you...time to change that tune).
YOU ARE AND YOU DO MATTER! WE NEED YOU TO FEED YOUR MIND WITH THESE THOUGHTS ALONE.
Let's Talk about sex....
My all time favorite, "They are soooo hot let me make it all about sex when I speak to them." Again, I can't speak for everyone, but for myself everything isn't f***able. I enjoy meeting people and learning. That is always my intetion in any interaction. To geniunely share time and space with humans while learning something about myself, the world, and someone else's perspective about it all. There are days I wish I were butt ass UGLY(by whatever the world considers that to be)...so I might be able to move more freely through a day and be unnoticed while I observe and serve my purpose on this Earth. But that's not what the good Lord blessed me with so I role with it. But understand those of the opposite sex and the same...sex is never at the top of my list when I'm interacting with anyone. Our outer appearance is just that an appearance. Time with a person shows you their depths.
You're held to an expectation:
When I went viral last year, it was in all my fed up, didn't give a shit how I looked glory. I'm the same person still. The difference then, the world was not really open. I wasn't doing all of the things I normally did...Music, modeling, etc. I didn't have anything to be polished up for, if you catch my drift. My nail clients have seen me at my best, worst and everything in between. As I have had the privilage to see them in the same ways. That's what time and trust give way to. And that day I got up from doing a set of nails to do a PSA because I was so fed up with people speaking on something they barely knew about. I also was beyond fed up with the polished bullshit and was fully enjoying the shutdown. I was so happy to have time to just be. No expectations, a clean plate to do with as I pleased. Yes I added back the hair, and the nails and found my lashes again. Why, because the world came alive(ish). But I'm still that woman that said what she said that sparked this amazing journey I'm now blessed to share with all of you. There is a level of expectation that is back so therefore I am fully back. But at no time do I have to be polished to the worlds standards to say what needs said. I'm so happy I went viral in plain jane glory. That moment proved no matter how unpolished the world may think you are, truth will shine through. So to all of you who think you aren't there yet, you aren't polished enough....YES YOU ARE...LET IT FLOW. 🌊
Do not take this thread as a complaint, see it as my shedding and sharing. You are not alone on any journey in this life. No matter what the world has set for a standard of outward beauty, know that type of beauty will fade. In some ways outward beauty might propel one in some areas of life. But understand it will also be a strong hold in other areas. Here's to finding your balance with it all. It is no easy task and I appalude you. To those that are enticed first by an appearence and act on that alone, my hope for you is that you see past it and remember they are a human too. Make your interaction a genuine one. Not everything is about the physical. Even when you don't speak it out loud, someone around you is sharing in an experience of similarity. Yes there was a time I saw it as a curse...as I've aged I have become more aware of the true power it contains and I do not take that lightly. To whom much is given, much is required. Outer beauty is kind of like having curly hair...you want it until you have to deal with it.😉 Everything in this life has a flip side to it. Learn to appreciate all that you have been given. Every blessing it contains as well as each struggle. If you feel like you aren't seen, find the blessing in that. That you can move a little more freely while learning who you are. But my dear don't ever think someone doesn't see you, you are light and it will shine even when you don't want it to.
It is funny to me though, there was a time I thought that I wasn't beautiful. I had heard so many times before that my eyes were too big, my forehead was too this, my teeth were too big, my mouth was too wide. And I believed those things. I truly felt like I wasn't good enough. Then one day someone that was seeing me like I was unable to showed me a different perspective. Not just from a physcial standpoint, but a full 360 view of what they saw from the inside out. It made me want to take a closer look. And once I started to unravel what the world was telling me, I started to see me...all of me and it was a very beautiful sight to behold. Not the physcial aspects but me. The good, the bad, and the indifferent parts. So if you are struggling with outter beauty and feel like you aren't measuring up. Stop, change the mindset right now. Ask yourself, "What do I see as beautiful?" You know I've met some truly ugly people and their appearance was oh so inviting by the world's standards. I urge you to Strive for that inner beauty, that's what truly leaves a lasting mark. And fuck what the world calls beautiful.