Jan 27, 2021
1 mins read
If you noticed the absence, you can read the reasoning in my About Me section. Right now, all I'll say is that I'm sorry for the lapse. I was truly excited to start this new journey on BMAC. I had a really strong first week of storytelling.
I fell flat on my face.
I got scared.
I gave up.
I held you at arm's length, so to speak. You started paying attention. You signed up for emails. One of you even gave me $40. You encouraged me to keep moving forward. I was happy.
But I also freaked out.
I felt guilty.
I heard those old voices in my head saying "who do you think you are to expect to be paid for sharing your thoughts" & "so you got some attention...it won't last. You have nothing of value to share. You're just not good enough." On and on it went.
I battled. Oh, how I battled. I wrote and wrote, but couldn't muster the courage to post. I let life experiences (see About Me) and negative, ugly thinking get in my way.
It might happen again.
The only guarantee I can give you is that I love writing, I know how writing heals me, and I believe in my heart of hearts that my words and experiences can help you, too. So, even if I'm quiet, I haven't forgotten you. And I will return. Despite the fear.
Speaking of fear, it's a Covid, chaotic world right now.
And in my country, we're still arguing about politics. And policies. And race. And religion. And all sorts of other important topics.
Confronting the past, present, and future at the same time is overwhelming. So it makes sense that we might hold one another at Arm's Length.
But I hope we will also embrace sometimes. Or at least, bump elbows.
Just so we remember we're not alone.
Thanks for reading.
Peace and comfort to you today.