Only 8 days into June... and already, the month feels bittersweet🙄. The upside👍 is we're almost halfway through 2021. I'm that much closer to turning 50 in December...and I cannot wait🥳. Today I created a plan for myself. Whether it comes to fruition or not remains to be seen but I'm proud of myself for making the plan. Part of that plan will take us South🚙.
My biggest summer shin-dig is a family trip to Florida, where my oldest--my son👩👦--lives these days. He's met a great gal👩 and they're getting married on the 26th. 🤵❤👰. (🎶"Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married…goin' to the chapel of love."🎶)
Yup.
It's exciting.
And a little scary.
Bittersweet.
Not because of the gal👩 or because I don't think he or they are ready.
The gal👩 he's chosen (and who's chosen him) is a beautiful young lady. They're a strong match, a fun couple. They match wits and work hard. They love the earth and the people on it. I look forward to joining our families together, to supporting them, to watching them grow.
Yet, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't battling sadness, grief, and fear. (Hello again, my nemesis depression/anxiety.)
There are several potential reasons… Perhaps because of my failed 👎marriage? Or the reality that intertwining 👫 two lives isn't easy? Or maybe I'm still processing through a recent 💔 heartbreak and rejection? Probably all this and more. 🤦♀️
Thankfully, they are not me👏. Their relationship is different. Everything about my son👩👦 is much stronger than everything about me. That guy is one of my heroes🦸♂️.
I ❤ him.
And now, so does she.
She👩loves❤him👨.
And I've been letting go to let them learn more about loving one another without my interference.
It's not easy.
Marriage is a big change, a permanent change, we expect. It's another giant step🚶♂️ into independent manhood for my guy. I'm proud of him, of her, of them.
The wedding will bring together old friends, some family not seen in a long time, and some new folks. I want it to be the most fun, relaxing, and meaningful event this wonderful couple has ever experienced. They deserve it.
I don't want my losses to render me useless that week. I don't want to usurp their rightful roles as the stars of the show. I don't want to say anything hurtful to anyone. And for 1 week, I don't want to be angry at god.
I want to trust myself to push aside my hurts and focus on them. This is a BIG celebration. And I'm going to Florida to celebrate my son and his fiancee👫.
I want to enjoy every moment.
I want those around me to enjoy the moments, too.
Letting go of yesterday and even my today as it fades into yesterday is how I will anticipate our tomorrows rather than fear them.
Thanks for sharing the journey into summer 2021. If you choose to financially support me, I'm grateful. If not, please know that I appreciate your moral support of my writing.
I hope the start of your Summer is wonderful. Stay cool🥶.
Peace.
❤ Me, Erica Senecal
(P.S. Aren't they cute together????)
