This year, I found a group of women like me. We feel like we are the only ones. It seems like nobody gets us like the ones who've been where we are. It's a secret group. Definitely not one any of us wanted to need.
I try to post encouragement there. Because so few of us feel encouraged.
I hope to bring hope to somebody. Because our situations seem hopeless.
Here's what I posted this morning:
"Good morning, Mamas. I'm on the other side of this mountain of hurt. Still wading through streams, walking around trees and boulders, hiking without a path. Yet, with much support and even more therapy & medication, I'm having more good days than bad. In January, it'll be 7 years since my then-husband's incarceration. He took a plea deal for 10 years at 85%. Which means he'll be released but hopefully never truly free in 1.5 years from now. If you speak to me then, I'll probably be a mess again and helping my kids navigate their thoughts and emotions too. They are now 22, 19, and 13. Everyone is doing well, all things considered.
I hold onto hope even when I feel hopeless. I utilize my tools, especially honesty (medication & therapy too), when I'm anxious or depressed. A while ago I stayed in bed for the better part of 2 weeks because I didn't feel safe anywhere else. 2 weeks into it, I decided to contact my therapist, who reminded me I could've contacted her earlier.
"I didn't want to."
She laughed (bc she knows me) then commended me for the honesty. We talked 45 minutes more. I've since begun adjusting meds with my new psychiatrist. Who knew I didn't have to live in fear and sadness most of the time? 🙃
Anyway, I hope you are encouraged. Love always wins. Hope helps us keep moving. Connection is important. So is honesty.
I'm learning to be honest about myself.
I'm sharing my perspective of our story on new platforms.
I'm formulating and implementing a plan to change my corner of the world.
I'm writing again. ✍
And enjoying it. 🙂
Baby steps.
Never stepping alone, even through a mountain range of unexpected craziness.
Thank you for being here. Thanks for being who you are.
Stronger than we think. Braver than we believe. Smarter than we know. And always beautiful, loving, loved Mamas/Women.
Peace to you today."
And peace to you, Dear Reader. If my words resonated and you'd like to support further writings, feel free to donate. I always appreciate my readers, followers, supporters. Have a great day!
✌,
Erica