"Secrets are cancer to a family."
It's a line from the movie This is Where I Leave You. I adopted it for myself and my 3 kids. Figured it to be true since it was true in our family situation back in 2015. Truth brings freedom. Secrets equal a form of imprisonment that destroys individuals and family units.
Talking, even about the hard stuff, brings healing. Honesty brings healing. Mind you, healing doesn't equal automatic peace and fun, bubbly feelings. I've found that healing can be excruciating. Teary. Sad. And a host of other emotions.
Healing involves doing something for myself and my family...something that takes work and time (lots of time). It usually involves me humbling myself enough to ask for help. I've sometimes felt like a beggar. But without me asking folks for help, I can only imagine where my kids and I would be today. On the streets, probably. Or maybe me without my kids. The complete opposite of everything my heart desires. Above all, I am Mom.
So I've often used my best tool to help us stay afloat and move forward: my words.
My words also come in handy when I'm feeling depressed or anxious. If I hold onto thoughts and feelings, I typically spiral downward. Shame does that. Fear does that. It takes courage to care enough about myself (or if not myself then my kids) to set an appointment with my therapist or ask my mom to listen or to talk with a trusted (or semi trusted since trust is an issue for me) friend. But once my words are outside my heart and mind and body, I enable myself to move forward. To get out of bed. Or at least sit up. To put my feet on the floor. To slide into my slippers. To step outside my room. To engage with my parents and my kids again, even take a chance on the rest of the world.
Most days aren't that extreme, but some are. Some weeks have been. Sometimes the will to live a productive, fun life just isn't there. And that's when I push myself to open the Toolbox and choose a tool I've been given. For myself. For my kids. For healing.
Talking is always one that works.
I've been modeling, teaching, and implementing this with my kids for a long time. Sometimes, we do it right and it helps. Lol. I try to be here for them. Like...when one melts down from the weight of life or another struggles with friendships or my third just needs a listening ear, I listen. I encourage when it's necessary. I listen some more. Because that's what people have done for me and it works.
Life isn't easy, especially in this Covid World. There is much to fear. Which means there is also much to discuss. Who listens and encourages you? Who do you listen to and encourage?
We need one another. Don't you agree?
❤, Me, Erica Senecal
(*If you like what you read or my words help you, please consider buying me a coffee. It's easy. And it'll pay for bills, not ☕, this week. 🛠)