Being a med hopeful in Australia meant I had to take GAMSAT and had to learn many things from scratch. Among them, is essay writing. After some uncountable hours of practice, I got to a point where I could feel more or less comfortable with essay writing. Here's an exemplar essay I wrote towards my preparation for GAMSAT, scored 75/100 by a professional tutor. If it helps anyone, my job is done.

The benefits of democracy

Democracy is, so far, the best system of government we have. Democracy fosters an inclusive system for all individuals. In addition, the democratic system has a profound impact on communities as it prevents the rule of autocratic and tyrannic authorities, supporting a government where human rights are protected and respected. However, the democratic system has flaws, such as that the beliefs of the majority are not always going to be accurate, and as a result, their political choices could be largely detrimental. Nevertheless, the flaws of democracy are perhaps not the result of a failed system of government, but likely to be the result of the choices of the electors. Thus, democracy as a system is still beneficial, it is itself not detrimental, and its flaws are likely to be the result of the decisions of the electors.

Democracy is a constructive system of government since it fosters an inclusive system where each individual’s will must be valued, fostering an environment of mutual respect within a system that considers the humanity of individuals. Democracy is likely to ensure that the contribution of each individual is considered through giving them the right and responsibility of choosing their representative. Democracy ideally reflects a system where individuals’ choices would be considered. In the democratic system, the uniqueness of each individual would be reflected in their choice at the time to vote, respecting the inherent value of each human being, encouraging human thrive, and fostering an environment of respect. Research published in The Britannica reports that democracy tends to foster human development— measured by health, education, and personal income, as indicators among democratic countries compared to non-democratic nations. This evidences the role of democracy in having a proximal relationship to developmental outcomes which potentially stems from fostering a regime that respects all individuals and is, therefore, likely to be a more optimal system compared to others.

The democratic system has a profound impact on societies as it provides a fertile terrain to foster communities where human rights are valued and prevents the rule of cruel autocrats who would sacrifice human rights in exchange for control. The provision of power for the people gives them the right to vote, which provides them with a voice and considers their choices, being the population who decides who will govern, and not an authority who independently decides they will govern without considering the will of the population. This averment can be evidenced by the publication of historical research by the Pew Research Centre. According to this example, authoritarian periods of history such as the fascist government of Benito Mussolini, involved a dictatorship that treated citizens as subjects to control.  This research signalled that democracy shifted the model of government, in order to prevent tyranny. This provides evidence of the role of democracy as a system of government that does not exchange human rights for control over societies, constituting a system that nurtures communities where human rights should be intact.

Nevertheless, the democratic system has flaws. Among them, the fact that the beliefs of the majority are not always going to be accurate. The majority takes the lead at the time of choosing a representative and nevertheless, the majority of the population will not necessarily choose the best representatives. The philosopher Socrates held the belief that allowing the uneducated populace to choose their representatives was a mistake. His judgment was that most people would probably choose short-term over long-term solutions to their problems, and therefore, found democracy as a flawed system of government that could result in poor choices of representatives and ultimately, a potentially suboptimal system of governance. Even so, democracy provides an opportunity to exert freedom to choose through the provision of an inclusive system for each individual, where communities care about respecting human rights and preventing authoritarian governments. However, the origin of the flaws of democracy are perhaps, not intrinsically embedded in the system, but potentially resulting from the inability of electors to make informed and educated decisions. Thus, the flaws of democracy would not be a failure of democracy itself as a system.

Democracy is a constructive system of government that encourages an inclusive system where each individual’s will must be considered, fostering an environment of mutual respect. Moreover, the democratic system profoundly impacts societies by encouraging the cultivation of communities where human rights whilst preventing the rule of cruel autocrats who would sacrifice human rights in exchange for control. However, the democratic system demonstrates its weaknesses when the choices of the majority are not always favorable for the improvement of their governments. And yet, it is likely that those flaws stem from the choices of individuals, and not of democracy as a system. It may be favourable to encourage individuals and communities access to political information, and therefore, provide electors with the information they need to make educated decisions that would nurture the consideration for human rights and prevent the election of tyrannic leaders. Perhaps through these considerations, we will forge a society in which individuals are more informed and less prone to make uninformed decisions about their representatives, and where the democratic system of government will have a profound impact in the acknowledgment of humanity in all.

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